10: The Seal of Approval.

You can listen to the chaotic collectors item that is episode 12 HERE

We start this episode by making veiled references to this piece of music, Possibly the most pretentious piece of Pre-Ghetto Fabulous Hip Hop that the Non-Gangster, De la Soul Family (this particular branch being Arrested Development...) ever produced. It was a different world back then as God and the Devil fought for the Soul of Hip Hop. Puff Daddy won.

Enough blathering, on with the track listings!

Track Listings

'Down in the Hole' by Tom Waits
Tom Waits doesn't sound totally sober, but the word is... he is. Even during this drunken ramble about the struggle between good and evil that goes on within us all. I think the essential message is that we should all dig a pit, and that we can use this pit as a king of naughty step for Satan. During this episode Matt and I begin worshipping a Seal, a Seal that it was necessary for us to invent.
This song is the theme Tune to The Wire Matt thinks it's 'Just another cop show'. I shall fetch the great big bloody bin.

'Astrocreep' By White Zombie
White Zombie were what passed as Heavy, back in the day. They combined rock stylings with a kind of repetitive Dance beat and repeated quotes from Blade-runner. They opens the track with some hot sex noises, which I would have thought were the prerogative of French Musicians. When this aired, I took a bit of this sex noise and used it to beep out sexual swearwords. I though this was 'ironic', it's 'ironic that I am telling you this now. Welcome to post-modernity where everything is great because you have no standard against which to measure it. Progress is a Lie. Here is a link to the cover art.

'Basket Case' by The Moog Cookbook (originally by Green Day)
When someone asks me, Dann, What the hell is a Moog? I like to look down at them as one would do to a wide-eyed child and say, Son... It's your best friend and your worst enemy, Moog will show you heaven and it will show you hell, but at the end of the day it's a great night in.
I remember some classic Moog Sessions with my cousin that may well have changed the world in some way... Perhaps for the better, Who knows? He's pretty successful now. I like to think our early experiments with Moog played a pretty big part in that.


'Deep in the Hole' by Masters of Reality
Oddly enough, whenever I hear this it makes me think of that bit in wind in the willows where the weasels and stoats take over Toadhall and Mr Toad and Badger have to chase them out. I picture the stoats dancing to this song as it is played out by an all weasel band on a makeshift stage in his foyer. Beep Beep!
Masters of Reality previously did a BA in Reality at Bath Spa University, under the influential and legendary lecturer Mimi Thebo.

Would you eat a rectal thermometer?

'Toxic Girl' by the Kings of Convenience
The Kings of Convenience claim to be from Norway, there are several reasons why this is impossible. Mostly they just sound like they are faking it. I get the idea that the two of them were sat in a basement in London somewhere and they decided that their unique brand of sappy-guitar duet-ism might go down better if people believed they were from a foreign and exotic land. They stuck a pin in the map and the rest is history. There is no record of either member of the band competing in the winter Olympics... or crucially getting on a plane. I swear to god they're from Billericay.


'Phoenix in Flight' and 'Phoenix in flames' by Converge

The group's musical style consists of complex guitar work and off-time polyrhythmic drumming leading some to describe the band as mathcore[9][10][11][12][13]. This is best exemplified on their album Jane Doe. While using hardcore punk as the framework for most of their songs, they also play slower tempo songs, like "Jane Doe", "You Fail Me", "Grim Heart/Black Rose", "Cruel Bloom", and "Wretched World.
Wikipedia "

Mathcore? seriously of all the cores that has to be the one that gets the least groupies.

'Kiss Off' by the Violent Femmes
The Violent Femmes totally were around in the 80's but most people didn't hear about them until they had a song on that advert for some mobile phone or something. I think the song was Blister in the Sun... It might have been for MasterCard... I like how adverts sometimes do a better job of advertising songs than they do their own products.

'Eat Me' by Rectal Thermometer featuring Huw Edwards
This isn't a real band. There is no interview. This is probably close enough...

'Nick Motown' and then 'No Reason' by Snuff
Sadly the version of this episode that I uploaded for internet usage is not the clean version. Sorry Kids. I find it odd that we don't swear in the media when we do it everywhere else. It's as if we worship a certain set of words and treat them with a holy reverence reserved for very few other things. I'll let you mull over why that might be... Anyway.

See you next Tuesday! (Shows go out on BCFM on Friday Nights 9PM Greenwich Mean Time.)

Dann

9: Eleven brides for Eleven brothers.

You can listen to the Classic 'As Live' Eleventh Episode, Palidrome Special featuring exclusive web only content for anyone willing to sit though three or four minutes of Miles Davis... HERE This episode doesn't start very well, but the end is killer.

DannAndMAtt@bcfm.org.uk Email us... we are lonely.

Track Listings
I roamed under it as a tired, nude Maori.

'Bullets' by Archive
Somewhere out there, there are bullets being smuggled with your name on them. Change your name. Archive are kind of hit and miss in my opinion. Perhaps that's because I'm English. If English people were exotic to me, like Pandas or something, I'd probably be really into this. Good sound. Lyrics need a bit of work, 8 out of 10.

A man, a plan, a canal: panama.

'Jamie' by Weezer (unplayed but mentioned)
This is all that I'm going to give you on this one. I like the bongos. Also, I love lamp.

Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?

'Accident Prone' by JawBreaker
Jawbreaker sound like they are English but they're not. I guess they are like Transvestites but with nationality instead of gender... I'm pretty sure that J Edgar Hoover said that kind of behaviour was Un-American.
Jawbreaker are from San Francisco, California. Durring the show Matt says he's pretty sure they're English but then again his 'girl' has really big hands.

Madam in Eden, I'm Adam.

'Unforgiven' Performed by Iron Horse (Originally by Metallica).
I am so sorry Iron Horse. I totally name-check you guys as Hayseed Dixie... which was wrong of me. I have started to beat myself once a day (usually in the morning, during my shower) in an attempt to make amends for my heinous error.

Poor Dan is in a droop.

'What it is to Burn' by Finch
Having had a look at the lyrics this song seems to basically be about Sun Worship. which is pretty cool. During the show, Matt claims that Science is boring. He does not come up with a theory as to what we should replace it with but on the face of it Sun Worship does seem like a viable alternative. The resultant kick ass tans and nakedness would certainly be more stimulating than peer review.

So many dynamos!

'Ghosts' by Ladytron
I don't know what I was thinking. I really don't. I thought I'd give them a try and see if they grew on me, but they didn't really. I'm sure they are lovely people who will make Phat Bucks making music... I compare them to Girls Aloud which probably isn't fair. They have a totally different image.

Drab as a fool, aloof as a bard.

'The Mob Goes Wild' by Clutch
One band that never fails to apoint is Clutch. Clutch can save any situation. This song is about the good time dance, moving to Canada, and bum rushing. I looked up Bum Rushing on the Urban Dictionary. It is as I suspected, Bum referes to the perp being cheap and unable to pay the door tax, the rush refers to the sudden movement of people.

Bombard a drab mob.

'Tropicana' by Ratatat
It's the middle section of this bit of music that really does it for me.
Does it like Scarlet Johansen in the middle of a lonely heatwave. For me this track is Desert Island good. Matt thinks Ratatat sound like Blur, I don't agree. Once again my wife agrees with Matt. She always takes his side... This is just like the time the three of us shared a bed.

Ten animals I slam in a net.

'Bitches Brew' by Miles Davis
Miles... Davis. Driving at 1000 miles an hour, Miles... Davis: Miles 'free form Jazz Through uptown New York' Davis.(20 minutes to save Ferris. Miles Davis) My face Miles.. (miles) D Miles Avis. Your face with a grip on a steering wheel, getting looser and looser. Driving that whale up towards distaste and disaster. Miles Mutherfubnkin DavidZ. Jazz. Tangerine. Tangerine? Tangerine!

Goodnight Trilobites.

8: The massivley rare... Lost Episode.

You can hear this famous Lost episode Here

This episode was swallowed by a Narwhal and only re-surfaced when the horny beast was captured by a group of gorilla fisherman (hoping to use the vast profits available from poaching rare animals for the 'Chinese medicine' trade to fund terrorism.) With help from various charities, we were able to give them £700 for the chewed up tape. Enough to save one whole Rhino from needless slaughter.


'Getting down with it' By The Kills
What do you do when the world is so appalling and disgusting and just plain vomit inducing that you just can't take any more? I suggest you take a leaf out of The Kills' book, change your name to Hotel and just Get down with it. In other words face the music and dance. Dance until you stray over a landmine and lose one of your legs. Dance until a child dies from a preventable illness. Rest for a moment in quiet contemplation and then start dancing again.

'Text Message' by Dann's Phone
My phone went off during this episode. I thought at one time that I might like to make a joke out of it. I have since changed my mind about that.

'Unprotected Sex with Multiple Partners' by Against Me! (Featuring Brendan Something, perhaps Brendan Kelly)
So Matt played this track by the Florida Punk band that is no longer legally allowed to give blood. According to rumour and hearsay the lead singer has now contracted chlamydia, the bassist has hepatitis and the drummer uses protection.

'The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side' by Magnetic Fields
This is a song sung by a man to a woman (I think a woman) that is very attractive. Sort of like a Mary figure in Something About Mary. He has a car.
Magnetic Fields are kind of awesome. I got this song from the album 69 Songs About Love. Five of those songs are about a minute long and I used them to time a section of my work out routine designed to Max Out core body strength. It's called the Plank.


'Ah Ha' by The Butthole Surfers
I so wanted this to be this or even This. The later of those two links was made by a friends of mine called Pete Simson. He booked out a Cinema, got the employees to pretend to be the audience, took his girlfriend there under the pretence of a regular date and then showed the video and proposed. She said yes!

'Furr'by Blitzen Trapper
Damn you Blitzen Trapper. Damn you for getting lucky with this track. I guess this track just proves that if enough chimps bash out enough words that rhyme, they might be able to create a decent song. That's what those old trapper boys did with this little ditty. Sadly I doubt they'll ever do it again.

'I Will Play' by Brand New
Yet another track about dying alone. I think Matt Plays these tracks because he's not married like I am. I don't have to worry about dying alone. I can rest assured that millions will watch me die: on a big screen in Times Square, with cheerleaders and a marching band.

'Jezebel' By Num

Here is a link to Num's Amazing Website

These are the lyrics to Jezebel, which if you have in front of you as you listen to the track will really help.

Counting the clouds passing over the sun
Laid in the shade we always had fun
Soon came the day when you'd make your own way
Wonder if somewhere you dream of the old days

Sun sister sun how it shined on the water
Soaked to the skin in the longest of summers
My little jezebel was ripe for the strangle
Sun in her eyes her hair in a tangle

Counting the leaves as they blew past the window
Wondering if somewhere you felt the way I do
My little jezebel I light you a candle
Sun in your eyes your hair in a tangle

I think that they're good lyrics.

'Enfilade' by At the Drive In

If you were to employ Enfilade at a Drive In you would be immediately arrested and rightly so.


Good night everyone. The Whale has been saved!

7: The Pretentious Special!

You can hear this Pretentious Show: HERE

This show is dedicated to Sheila in Gwent an 86 year old woman who heard me on another radio station and asked for more information... She said that she was going to get her son to help her find us on the internet. I like to think she listened to the whole thing... this ones for you Sheila.

'Brother Sport' by Animal Collective
What can I say about Animal Collective that I didn't say last time we played them. How about this, they have the weirdest Gang-names I have ever heard of, Avey Tare (David Portner), Panda Bear (Noah Lennox), Deacon (Josh Dibb), and Geologist (Brian Weitz). I ain't never heard of no Gang-Banger callin' himself Geologist before. but then again they are from Baltimore. This track is my current ring-tone. It makes me want to pick up my receiver and shout out 'Ahoy Hoy' at the top of my lungs. I love this band so much it's freaky.

'Cygnus....Vismund Cygnus' The Mars Volta
Shifting from English to Spanish and back again at will, this is the longest track yet played on the Erotic Toast project, I like it because you can pretty much clean your entire flat in just one playing, thus earning major brownie points from your significant male/female companion. Mostly female... male companions don't tend to notice. I also like that it mentions the ocean floor. For obvious reasons.

'I Don't Wanna' Be The One (acoustic version)' by the Ting Tings
On air I promiced the listener a full report of our in-depth 'Interview and session' with the Ting Tings. it pretty much went like this.

Dann: Hello, is that the Ting Tings?
The Ting Tings: No, this is Easton Express
Dann: Really?
The Ting Tings: Yes
Dann: In that case, I'll have a Fuji Bento, and some Prawn Crackers... Hey Matt Do you want anything?
Matt Setback: Some of those vegetable things
Dann: And some of those vegetable things please.
The Ting Tings: no problem, it will be there in 60 minutes
Dann: Do people ever call you Stacy?
The Ting Tings: No, I just take your order, ok?
Matt Setback: Ask them why the hell they can't say Wait'ting' when the god damn name of the group is the 'Ting' 'tings...'

Our food arrived in less than half an hour.

Ok back to the music...
This song is kind of the opposite of This Track by Lily Allen. The top youtube comment when I posted that link was, "Can you Get Lily Allen Toilet Paper?" I'm not sure if they wanted it because they hate Lily Allen or just love her in a really sick way. Either way it was a cool post and I salute it.


'First Light' and 'Last Light' by Converge
Massachusetts. Home of MIT, the king of all the Tech based universities. Converge are actually from Salem, whose witch trials have ironically become synonymous with the dangers of too little education and possibly Ergot poisoning. Converge have been described on wikipedia as 'Metalcore'. How that differs from 'Metal' I have no idea. lets give whoever made that description up a big hand.

'Legionaires Lament' by the Decemberists

When on December 14, 1824, Lieutenant Panov and other high ranking leaders marched with armed troops to Senate Square in St. Petersburg, Russia, to force the Senate to sign a manifesto deposing the autocracy, abolishing serfdom, and proposing the institution of democratic reforms they were harshly quelled. Due to the hesitation and vacillation on the part of their own leaders, these Decembrists, as they became known, ultimately failed in their quest to bring liberal Western ideals to a backwards and mystical Russia. Their legacy, however, lived on. The group came to be regarded as the forefathers of the Russian revolutionary movement.

Quoted from here

Sadly it's very difficult to get information on these important revolutionary pioneers as most google searches get swamped by the more popular band of the same name. Ironic, since they presumably chose the name in the hope of shedding light on this somewhat obscured piece of human history.

'Ænima' by Tool
The title Ænima is a combination of the words 'anima' (Latin for 'soul') associated with the ideas of "life force" and a term often used by psychologist Carl Jung and 'enema' the medical procedure beloved by the bowel obsessed inventor of cornflakes.
At the time of recording neither me nor Matt knew this, and thus, from a position of ignorance, we both do our best to sound clever. I'll let you decide which one of us wins. It looks like I'll be the one getting the free enema!


'Good Night, Another Bad Morning' by the Kills
lets explore the possible meanings of this song. The Kills could be implying that any kind of a good time comes at a cost, not just the obvious idea of alcoholic indulgence leading to hangovers, but a deeper explanation of the philosophical and religious ideas of karmic cause and effect. like night and day, good and bad simply do not exist except by comparison to one another... a good night, A bad morning... such is the way of things.

Or it could be, an analysis of takings at a local bar or restaurant...

Perhaps it's simply wishing someone called 'Anne Uther-BadMorning, a good night as the credits roll on a re-run of QI and the two of them share a cup of coco. At this point I don't care.

Goodnight everybody, God bless us one and all...

6: Frankie said Relax. We listened.

To listened to our most 'Relaxed' Show yet... Click HERE

I heard a rumour once that the ear bones are the clitoris of the mind. If this is the case then let us play you something... Stimulating. Let us get that hammer, anvil and stirrup vibrating out a rhythmic pulse of pure orgasmic energy... Straight to the Brain!

Don't forget to email the show on DannandMatt@bcfm.org.uk

Track Listings

'Deep Blue Sea' by Grizzly Bear
What could be more erotic than a grizzly bear. Standing proud at 47feet in height, the modern Grizzly can smell a female in heat from 1000 miles away. That's not what this song is about. This song is about various family members drowning in the sea. despite this macabre subject matter it seems quite a happy little song.

'Drop Out' by Rocket From the Crypt
Pretty much everyone at my old school (not the one in the link) got well into Rocket From the Crypt except me. I think that this is probably because they all went off and watched a Rocket concert without me. Perhaps even to this day I am blinded by my own misguided jealousy, Perhaps songs about hanging onto ropes just don't do it for me. Who knows. The lead singer of Rocket from the Crypt is called 'Speedo' He doesn't support Man City.

'Jesus Land' by Ben Folds
This song reminds me primarily of wandering through a suburb of Melbourne when I went to visit my sister in Australia. It was much too hot for anyone to actually go outside, people drove from air-conditioned place to air-conditioned place in air-conditioned cars. There was a huge church and no people anywhere. All the houses looked the same and every third or fourth bush had a massive spider in it, like dinner plate size.

'Channel Zero' By Public Enemy
While I was well into my hip hop throughout the 90's and early 00's I never got into Public Enemy at all. I found their politics to be naive and predictable, not at all like the nuanced message of personal empowerment I would get from Ice T, KRS1 and Jru. In the end I kind of grew out of my hip hop phase, mostly I think because I wanted to spend time with girls and the older I got the more trouble I had excusing the rampant misogamy.

'Woozy with Cider' by James Yorkston
James’ solo career began when John Peel played a demo of his ‘Moving Up Country, Roaring The Gospel’, proclaiming it had “The Song title of the year, no doubt”. as both Matt and I worship John's ever-living ghost as the greatest radio DJ of all time, we felt it only right to continue his good work and give James some more exposure. This time not on Radio One, but on BCFM. A radio station staffed by volunteers, and loved by the seven or eight people able to tune in to it's faltering candlelight signal... I hope James appreciates what we have done for him.
James does another song called 'Tortoise Regrets Hare' Every time I hear it I can't help but imagining the little guy in a toupee, at a school reunion or something, feeling pretty awkward.

RIP Peel.

All Down Hill From Here by A New Found Glory
This band's lead singer sounds like he's a tiny little guy trapped in the nose of a much larger man. From that perspective everything would appear to be downhill. I get the feeling that this song is about the end of a relationship. Which is kind of fair, who wants to go out with a guy who's covered in Mucus. New found Glory are from Florida and their picture on Wikipedia is of the lead singer holding his crotch. There's also a topless fat bloke in the background and a guy who looks like he is setting up a drum kit for the next band on. Not a good look

'Symphony in C' by Cake
Cake! please mark that as 'useful'


'Last Will And Testament' by Propagandhi
Ironically this is the Last track we Will play and um... it reminds me of a 'Test I meant' to take, but never turned up for. Sadly due to missing that vital exam I will never be a Gynaecologist.
Propagandhi are Canadian. What? There's nothing wrong with that. Did you not see the opening ceremony to the Olympics? You didn't? You wouldn't be talking that Jive about the big C if you did. It was Awesome. They Rocked that Sh=T Like a huracain

By my calculations, based on a 40 hour working week, Matt Setback will do pretty much anything for £48.01 per hour. If he's willing to work everyhour of every day it's more like £11.40. He, like myself, works on this show for free.

5: The Rodeo Special...

TO listen to this episode, click Here

Our USP:
in 1983 both Matt and I were imprisoned for a crime we did not commit and placed in a minimum security prison, from which we promptly escaped. If you need our help and you can find us, then maybe you can listen in to our show. Fridays at 9 or click on the link above.

Track Listings

'El Rodeo' by Kyuss
I presume that Kyuss is a misspelling of kius, a god-ugly cross between the Ford KA and the Toyota Prius, neither of which had been invented at the time the band rose to fame. In reality it turns out they were named after a god from the Dungeons and Dragons Universe, which is pretty geeky. Kyuss began their career banging out their tracks for free surrounded by miles and miles of peyote infested desert. Like ballplayers on a field of dreams, people came out to watch them play. The rest is history. (They broke up in 95 but went on to form at least 2 of your favourite bands)
El Rodeo is not, as Matt and I thought about a rodeo. it appears to be about a particularity harsh prison outside of Caracas in Venezuela. DO NOT COMMIT A CRIME IN SOUTH AMERICA!

'White Collar Boy' by Belle and Sebastian
This is a ballad about a rich kid that gets into a little bit of trouble with the law and then kind of goes down hill from there. Belle and Sebastian are a Scottish Band. Not a 'French, Dutch or Swedish or Something' Duet as I may claim during this show. I am wrong and should have done better research. I am sick of being wrong. I am sick to damn death of smug people telling me I am wrong about stuff. How is it everybody else in the world seems to already know everything. I'm not a stupid guy. I'm not lazy. I have my own show. Do they have their own show? NO, they don't, I do... so they can piss off. Still what do I get for all my efforts? Next to nothing. I want a better paid job and a nice car and a family bucket of chicken.

'Heroes Get Remembered' (not Beatdown in the key of happy) by Four Year Strong
Four year strong released this Fire Safety Anthem, that advocates fighting fire with fire, pre-emptively. The idea being that if you burn the house down on purpose, then it's impossible to do it by accident. Matt loves this track but to be honest it bores me to death. Death is approaching, probably in a house fire.

'Worn Down a Knuckle Too Far' by James
When I first, heard James, it was during that period in time when everyone in in Bristol worked for BT, I'd just gone through my induction training and I was given a CD by one of my workmates. He was from Manchester, called James and had a voice almost identical to the lead singer. I lost touch with James the person, but my memory of him and my memory of the band will always share an intrinsic link. I last saw James the person, at 'Dig In' a kind of eclectic hippy night they used to run at The Thekla before it went all upmarket. I never actually asked him if he was in the band, but I assume that he wasn't.

'Deep Inside' by Incubus
Jazz fusion meets rock apocalypse in the lounge of the Sacramento Holiday Inn. it's two pm but you've been through so many time-zones you have not idea. Your luggage has been lost in Heathrow and your facing a whole convention full of Southpark fans with only the cheap sweatpants and non-logo knitted jumper you travelled in. It's cheap drinks at the bar and an attractive blond spikes your drink with a syringe full of pure Ethanol. Suddenly you can't see straight. If you want to take the blond to your room, turn to page 104 If you want to try and make it to the bathroom before you throw up, turn to page 16. to stay where you are, just read this page again.

'Stranger' The Presidents of the USA.
There was really only one link I could post with this. OK Maybe two links . I saw the presidents live in London once and I lost a shoe in the middle of the mosh pit. Then I found someone else's shoe and then just went on moshing. When the gig was over I had to hunt around in the mess until I eventually found my own shoe, lying covered in blood next to the body of a badly-beaten, dead roadie. Coincidence? I think not.

'Meet Me By The River's Edge' by The Gas Light Anthem
The Gas Light Anthem are from New Brunswick in New Jersey. They are not however Nu metal. They're actually pretty old-school and have been compared to Springsteen. it's almost as if Springsteen is their boss and they are a band formed from a bunch of his employees. despite calls for them to do so, The GLA refuse to perform naked or even Semi Naked. Though they have been quoted as saying they would do a nude scene in a movie if it was tastefully done. This Song talks a lot about the things Sally Said. Here is another song about things Sally said.

'Forget the Souvenirs' by The Stares
Surely Souvenirs are things to help you remember. once you've forgotten them, what do you have left?

The Stares really aren't famous at all, but they are awesome so please go to their website and buy an album. I'm not sure if it's available on Itunes at all, or really anywhere other than their website. Maybe if we buy enough albums they will finally release another great record. I saw them live in a smokey little bar in Seattle. Those were the days when I was young and cocky and had an expendable income. I'm sad to say we fade this out before the song even finishes, and when it went out on air they pretty much faded it out as soon as it started. I will never forgive them.

Goodnight.

4: Lucky Episode Number 7... (Some episodes are missing from this site.)

You can hear this 'lucky' Episode HERE

You lucky lucky people.

First up... Please ignore the email address we tout throughout this episode. It does exist, but for the sake of continuity, we have been given our own BCFM email address, which is DannAndMatt@BCFM.org.uk
not
DannAndMatt@bcfm.com

as we mention in later programmes...

We are really sorry for all the confusion. let me assure though, no one is more confused than us.

DannAndMatt@BCFM.org.uk

Anyway, without further ado on with

The Track Listings

'Time' performed by Easy Star All Stars featuring Corey Harris & Ranking Joe (original song by Pink Floyd)

I defy anyone not to like this piece of music, or in fact the album it comes from 'Dub Side of the Moon' My mum loves it, My dad loves it, my friends love it. Stoners who walk past my house on their way to their dealers love it. Cats love it. Dogs love it. Former US president Richard Nixon is a particularly vocal 'DubSide Enthusiast' as he mentions on his blog.
I'd like to add that it's this song that gets me out of bed in the morning, that gets me to buckle down and get things done. The human race is indeed a race, and no one out there is going to tell you to start running, you just have to take your cue from seeing their greassy buttocks bouncing off into the distance as they desperately swing their arms for balance.

'Don't Hate Me' by The Get Up Kids
The Get up kids are totally Emo. But they did their best to break away from being called Emo, presumably because it hurt their feelings a bit. After reading about them on Wikipedia, it appears that they hold themselves totally responsible for 'the state of punk today' which they claim has become 'just like glam rock'. Which according to that last link seems to imply that punks today do their utmost to look as much like transvestites as possible, but crucially without trying to look like actual women. Which may explain The Get Up Kids' unusual sound.

(Going back to that photo for a second... Is it just me or does the guy in the gold jacket look like he's their pimp.)


Fossils are awesome!


'Librarian' by My Morning Jacket
This is a great song that plays on a number of clever themes, first the damaging proliferation of self-image-obsession in these post-modern consumerist times and second... SEXY LIBRARIANS!!!

Which I had to risk getting fired to google at work. What's really depressing is that I couldn't find anything that lived up to my own rampant imagination. One of the pictures was of Sarah Palin which is not cool. And then the rest looked like Glamour Models in librarians clothes. So in the end I decided that this was what I would go with (she's not a librarian she's a guidance councillor with OCD, but you know....). I could just put up a picture of my wife who this song really does remind me of... but this isn't that kind of website.

In the interest of sexual non-discrimination and the ticking of diversity boxes, here is a picture of a sexy male librarian


'Hyperborea' by H.O.R.S.E The Band

Hyperborea... That's a pretty weird name for a song. Certainly a nightmare to anyone with lupis. I reckon they are probably talking about the last wikipedia meaning... the theory that the Human Race was born fully formed at the North Pole,(borea like in auraborealis) 'where the sun never stops shining' the theory is that hyperborean times were the golden age and that the south pole is the root of all evil and that as we have progressed down towards it we have become less and less human... and more and more animal. The fact is I've seen March of the Penguins and those little guys seemed quite loving and civilised. penguins don't lie to each other about love, they don't make promises they can't keep. If a penguin doesn't show up to a little league game or it's child's birthday it won't be because it went out drinking or stayed late at work. It's much more likely it's been eaten by a leopard seal.

'Nothing to Worry About' by Peter, Bjorn and John.
Sweden. Sweden. Sweden Peter, Bjorn and John are Swedish. I'm typing this but I'm actually really tired and feeling quite I'll. I'm at work too, which I mentioned earlier. I'm kind of hoping nobody will notice that I'm working my own website instead of any real work. I figure that as long as my eyes are open and my keyboard keeps pumping out those little tappy tappy noises nobody's going to call my bluff

...What happened next? We think it might have been 'The Event'.

'A Small Demand' by The (International) Noise Conspiracy
The (International) Noise Conspiracy should not be confused with The (National) Noise Conspiracy. They stand for very different things. The Nationals for example don't have a bitchin' Sax Solo in the middle of any of their songs. And they also hate puppies, allegedly. The Internationals on the other hand have puppies on their rider, which they say is a 'small demand'.


'John Wayne Gacey Jr.' by Sufjan Stevens
This is a song about the serial killer, John Wayne Gacey Jr. It's taken from Sufjan's Illinois Album. It's a true ballad of the old school, telling the news through song. I picked this because I found that it handled a difficult subject really well. It doesn't glamorise the murders, and it doesn't take them lightly. I think it really does capture the feeling of finding out there was killer in your home town, maybe in your street. Gacey would gain the trust of young men with his wit and humour and then convince them to allow him to tie them up by pretending he was doing magic tricks. Then he killed them and buried them underneath his home. No one knows why. I doubt even he does.

'Beatdown in the Key of Happy' by Four Year Strong
When Matt first mentioned that he was going to play this song I thought he said
'Beatdown in the Key of Hippy'
I thought he was taking about that Rolling Stones concert where the Hells Angels beat up a load of people, killed a guy and effectively put to death the dream of "The Sixties" and the mythical summer of love. The more I read about the Hells Angels the more disturbed I am by them. I mean I should have guessed by the name but when I read the Electric Cool Aid Acid Tests by Tom Wolfe I was genuinely shocked, not so much by the violence but by their extreme sexual behaviour. I just had no idea I guess. I'm sure they're all cool now. The last thing I want to do is start some kind of Beef.

That's it for this week people... Goodnight!