20: Trilogy of Pain pt. 2

Me and Matt have decided that our speaking voices have got a bit tired and have decided to start with some tribal drumming.  For those that don't speak drum... what we are saying is that we 'have many women in our tribe who are of marriageable age' but due to a cunning play on drums we are also making a topical joke about the Liberal Democrats and their 'insatiable lust for power'.

Anyway... you can hear this crime against Audio relations..

HERE

And the tracklistings are below.

'The Longer You Wait' by Fol Chen (again)
Atonal Atomic Atonement. Matt claims not to like this record but then he's god an odd perspective on life. While he is now loved by women and men alike... Matt was raised in the wild by monkeys. It's a wonder he can speak at all.

'What it is to Burn' by  Finch
Matt thought I might like this record and for the first seven seconds or so I did. Which has got to be a result for Matt really. It did however inspire the  Emo Triangle.

'Last Day of Magic' The Kills 
I thought Matt might like this reccord and for the first seven seconds or so he did. Which has got to be a result for me really. Sadly no triagles were inspired uh oh! 

'I Wanna Go Back' by Weezer
It's a well established fact that both Matt and I would gladly go back in time to re-enjoy the flower of our youth. But to be fair... on a more balanced analysis the inane teenage level of conversation would just get on our nerves, then again it really hasn't changed that much. boobs. ha ha... mmmm... she said boobs...

'I wish I was in New Orleans' by Scarlet Johansen
So many obvious jokes here that were not made. Still it was a great excuse for me to google the lovley miss Johansen. Matt didn't get it. But I like to think that the diserning listener did. That's you by the way.

'Deafening' by Far
We are in the mid point of Matt's Emo cycle at this point. It's the point where he starts to get a little agressive.

'Miserable' by Lit
In an attempt to placate him it was decided that he should be alowed two songs in a row. As a result in 2010 no-one died.

'The Well' by Bill Callahan
Yes it was too long and yes.. it did have too much swearing in it and yes it's probably not very good, but... Oh crap it I have no excuse.

Goodnight.

8: The massivley rare... Lost Episode.

You can hear this famous Lost episode Here

This episode was swallowed by a Narwhal and only re-surfaced when the horny beast was captured by a group of gorilla fisherman (hoping to use the vast profits available from poaching rare animals for the 'Chinese medicine' trade to fund terrorism.) With help from various charities, we were able to give them £700 for the chewed up tape. Enough to save one whole Rhino from needless slaughter.


'Getting down with it' By The Kills
What do you do when the world is so appalling and disgusting and just plain vomit inducing that you just can't take any more? I suggest you take a leaf out of The Kills' book, change your name to Hotel and just Get down with it. In other words face the music and dance. Dance until you stray over a landmine and lose one of your legs. Dance until a child dies from a preventable illness. Rest for a moment in quiet contemplation and then start dancing again.

'Text Message' by Dann's Phone
My phone went off during this episode. I thought at one time that I might like to make a joke out of it. I have since changed my mind about that.

'Unprotected Sex with Multiple Partners' by Against Me! (Featuring Brendan Something, perhaps Brendan Kelly)
So Matt played this track by the Florida Punk band that is no longer legally allowed to give blood. According to rumour and hearsay the lead singer has now contracted chlamydia, the bassist has hepatitis and the drummer uses protection.

'The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side' by Magnetic Fields
This is a song sung by a man to a woman (I think a woman) that is very attractive. Sort of like a Mary figure in Something About Mary. He has a car.
Magnetic Fields are kind of awesome. I got this song from the album 69 Songs About Love. Five of those songs are about a minute long and I used them to time a section of my work out routine designed to Max Out core body strength. It's called the Plank.


'Ah Ha' by The Butthole Surfers
I so wanted this to be this or even This. The later of those two links was made by a friends of mine called Pete Simson. He booked out a Cinema, got the employees to pretend to be the audience, took his girlfriend there under the pretence of a regular date and then showed the video and proposed. She said yes!

'Furr'by Blitzen Trapper
Damn you Blitzen Trapper. Damn you for getting lucky with this track. I guess this track just proves that if enough chimps bash out enough words that rhyme, they might be able to create a decent song. That's what those old trapper boys did with this little ditty. Sadly I doubt they'll ever do it again.

'I Will Play' by Brand New
Yet another track about dying alone. I think Matt Plays these tracks because he's not married like I am. I don't have to worry about dying alone. I can rest assured that millions will watch me die: on a big screen in Times Square, with cheerleaders and a marching band.

'Jezebel' By Num

Here is a link to Num's Amazing Website

These are the lyrics to Jezebel, which if you have in front of you as you listen to the track will really help.

Counting the clouds passing over the sun
Laid in the shade we always had fun
Soon came the day when you'd make your own way
Wonder if somewhere you dream of the old days

Sun sister sun how it shined on the water
Soaked to the skin in the longest of summers
My little jezebel was ripe for the strangle
Sun in her eyes her hair in a tangle

Counting the leaves as they blew past the window
Wondering if somewhere you felt the way I do
My little jezebel I light you a candle
Sun in your eyes your hair in a tangle

I think that they're good lyrics.

'Enfilade' by At the Drive In

If you were to employ Enfilade at a Drive In you would be immediately arrested and rightly so.


Good night everyone. The Whale has been saved!

7: The Pretentious Special!

You can hear this Pretentious Show: HERE

This show is dedicated to Sheila in Gwent an 86 year old woman who heard me on another radio station and asked for more information... She said that she was going to get her son to help her find us on the internet. I like to think she listened to the whole thing... this ones for you Sheila.

'Brother Sport' by Animal Collective
What can I say about Animal Collective that I didn't say last time we played them. How about this, they have the weirdest Gang-names I have ever heard of, Avey Tare (David Portner), Panda Bear (Noah Lennox), Deacon (Josh Dibb), and Geologist (Brian Weitz). I ain't never heard of no Gang-Banger callin' himself Geologist before. but then again they are from Baltimore. This track is my current ring-tone. It makes me want to pick up my receiver and shout out 'Ahoy Hoy' at the top of my lungs. I love this band so much it's freaky.

'Cygnus....Vismund Cygnus' The Mars Volta
Shifting from English to Spanish and back again at will, this is the longest track yet played on the Erotic Toast project, I like it because you can pretty much clean your entire flat in just one playing, thus earning major brownie points from your significant male/female companion. Mostly female... male companions don't tend to notice. I also like that it mentions the ocean floor. For obvious reasons.

'I Don't Wanna' Be The One (acoustic version)' by the Ting Tings
On air I promiced the listener a full report of our in-depth 'Interview and session' with the Ting Tings. it pretty much went like this.

Dann: Hello, is that the Ting Tings?
The Ting Tings: No, this is Easton Express
Dann: Really?
The Ting Tings: Yes
Dann: In that case, I'll have a Fuji Bento, and some Prawn Crackers... Hey Matt Do you want anything?
Matt Setback: Some of those vegetable things
Dann: And some of those vegetable things please.
The Ting Tings: no problem, it will be there in 60 minutes
Dann: Do people ever call you Stacy?
The Ting Tings: No, I just take your order, ok?
Matt Setback: Ask them why the hell they can't say Wait'ting' when the god damn name of the group is the 'Ting' 'tings...'

Our food arrived in less than half an hour.

Ok back to the music...
This song is kind of the opposite of This Track by Lily Allen. The top youtube comment when I posted that link was, "Can you Get Lily Allen Toilet Paper?" I'm not sure if they wanted it because they hate Lily Allen or just love her in a really sick way. Either way it was a cool post and I salute it.


'First Light' and 'Last Light' by Converge
Massachusetts. Home of MIT, the king of all the Tech based universities. Converge are actually from Salem, whose witch trials have ironically become synonymous with the dangers of too little education and possibly Ergot poisoning. Converge have been described on wikipedia as 'Metalcore'. How that differs from 'Metal' I have no idea. lets give whoever made that description up a big hand.

'Legionaires Lament' by the Decemberists

When on December 14, 1824, Lieutenant Panov and other high ranking leaders marched with armed troops to Senate Square in St. Petersburg, Russia, to force the Senate to sign a manifesto deposing the autocracy, abolishing serfdom, and proposing the institution of democratic reforms they were harshly quelled. Due to the hesitation and vacillation on the part of their own leaders, these Decembrists, as they became known, ultimately failed in their quest to bring liberal Western ideals to a backwards and mystical Russia. Their legacy, however, lived on. The group came to be regarded as the forefathers of the Russian revolutionary movement.

Quoted from here

Sadly it's very difficult to get information on these important revolutionary pioneers as most google searches get swamped by the more popular band of the same name. Ironic, since they presumably chose the name in the hope of shedding light on this somewhat obscured piece of human history.

'Ænima' by Tool
The title Ænima is a combination of the words 'anima' (Latin for 'soul') associated with the ideas of "life force" and a term often used by psychologist Carl Jung and 'enema' the medical procedure beloved by the bowel obsessed inventor of cornflakes.
At the time of recording neither me nor Matt knew this, and thus, from a position of ignorance, we both do our best to sound clever. I'll let you decide which one of us wins. It looks like I'll be the one getting the free enema!


'Good Night, Another Bad Morning' by the Kills
lets explore the possible meanings of this song. The Kills could be implying that any kind of a good time comes at a cost, not just the obvious idea of alcoholic indulgence leading to hangovers, but a deeper explanation of the philosophical and religious ideas of karmic cause and effect. like night and day, good and bad simply do not exist except by comparison to one another... a good night, A bad morning... such is the way of things.

Or it could be, an analysis of takings at a local bar or restaurant...

Perhaps it's simply wishing someone called 'Anne Uther-BadMorning, a good night as the credits roll on a re-run of QI and the two of them share a cup of coco. At this point I don't care.

Goodnight everybody, God bless us one and all...