28: Return of the Matt

Due to the wobbly nature of time. Matt will actually return this week: the week before he goes away. It's a Dr Who/Gilbert and Sulivan-esque Paradox of biblical proportions.  Before we really get started on this one I for one would like to apologise ahead of time for whatever spews forth from my brain. I have been eating a lot of chocolate covered coffee beans and would describe my current status as 'seriously wired'. Here's hoping for the best.

As always you can hear this thrilling instalment of the ETP...

HERE

TRACK LISTING

'I Wanna Do Bad Things With You' by Chase Everett
Chase Everett. A man. A legend. A dream of American freedom. A naked moonlight walk on the prairies of yore. The drifting spirit of a union soldier passing through the concrete walls of office blocks and malls built large on the fields of Gettysburg. A mysterious smell in the back of your car. A lost raccoon in an oversize Stetson hat. The guy that did the title music for True Blood.

'Pretty Good Year' by Tori Amos

Tori Amos once peed on my leg but that's a story for another time. For now I'd like to talk about her flaming red hair. Mostly because it reminds me of Amy Pond. Beautiful time travelling Amy who every night in my dreams sits beside me as I drive and slowly runs her hand up the inside of my thigh.

'Let's Go Surfing' by The Drums
Matt and I seem to be drifting towards surf rock. I used to go surfing when I was a kid. I guess it was a cheap family holiday. Camp down in Bude and surf the mighty one and a half foot breaks of the  Atlantic Cornish coast. I remember the day I decided to give it up. I was sitting on my board, just out of the breaking zone, waiting for a ripple worth riding to come my way and it started hailing. As the ice fell from the sky, I remember thinking... 'Seriously dude, either move to California... or find some other way to spend your time because this is just stupid.'

'Suffocation' by Against Me

Divers report feelings of extreme euphoria when their breathing equipment packs up and they start to suffer from nitrogen narcosis. Swingers and perverts strangle each other to reach the ultimate sexual high. Kids seem obsessed with sticking plastic bags over their heads at every available opportunity. Do I have to go round door to door and tell everyone in the world to stop being stupid? Sometimes I feel like that might be the only thing left in the world that would make a difference.

'Fish' by Mr Scruff

Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, what did you and your husband do after you were ejected from the restaurant?
Marge: We pretty much went straight home…
Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, you are under oath!
Marge: We drove around until 3AM looking for another all-you-an-eat fish restaurant.
Hutz: And when you couldn’t find one?
Marge: We went fishing…
Hutz: Do these sound like the actions of a man who had all he could eat?

The New Kid on the Block
The Simpson's Season 4, Episode 6
Originally aired November 12, 1992

'International Dreambeat' Adebisi Shank
'The name of the song is going to be 'International Dreambeat''
'Seriously?'
'yeah'
'you still on that...'
'Prescription medication? Yes, yes I am. What of it?'
'Nothing man, nothing'

DANN'S INAUGURAL SIXTH FORM SONG

'Place Your Hands' by Reef

All my life I thought that Reef were a bunch of LA wasters. It turns out they actually come from Glastonbury. Glastonbury... The mythical burial ground of King Arthur. Home of the sacred Glastonbury thorn and the equally sacred Glastonbury Festival. This is just another case of Marketing and Hype playing me for the sucker I am.

'A Slight Discomfort' by the Holdsteady

The lyrics to this track are somewhat poetic. They left me with a feeling. I don't really know exactly what that feeling is. A slight sinking in my chest. Perhaps is a melancholic longing. Perhaps it's just the Coffee beans wearing off.  Maybe I should neck a couple of cans of power-thirst and then see how I feel.


Goodnight!

19: A Trilogy of Pain... (Part 1, The Ballad of Me and My Facebook Friends)

This is the first of three episodes in which Matt slips deeper and deeper into the horrific world of Emo. Luckily I'm more Elmo than Emo so it kind of balances it out. Anyway you can listen to it

HERE

At the start of the show you can hear me making references to how Clayton beat me up on air. One day you will all get to listen to that... but not today. Other things to spot durring the show are my attempts to get Matt to fill gaps in the programme by asking him about his 'Big weekend' I don't think he ever quite figures out what I'm doing.

Track Listings

'When the Man Comes Around' by Johnny Cash
My granddad went to Cambridge. He's an ex-vicar, ex-heavyweight boxer and an ex-Royal Engineer. He has shrapnel scars on his right arm and stories about invading Germany that you have to pull out of him like teeth. He used to ride through tank battles in an armoured car. He used to be the smartest, bravest and strongest man in almost any room. Now he has a three minute memory and he's pretty much all alone in the world. This song makes me think about him.

'Born on the FM Waves of the Heart' by Against Me
The heart does not produce FM Radio. Unless this is a reference to 'Heart FM' the pretend local station that is in fact syndicated from a central location with only split trails that reference your local area... (and perhaps one local show a day)  Heart FM is the living lie of Glocalization. Also a rival radio station. BCFM baby... For Ever Yo! or at least until someone offers to pay me cash money.

'Cable TV' by Fol Chen
Due to an earlier spelling mistake (now corrected) I have just started wondering what  Cabbie TV would be like.  Then stopped thinking about it very quickly as I remember conversations I've had with Cabbies.

'Radio' by Alkaline Trio
Batteries man! That's the cunning link here.
It was while this track was playing that I first had the thought... there must be something bothering Matt this week. I'm the one that's meant to play the bed-wetting music... Matt likes the HardCore Metal and Punk. Then I realised that this could have something to do with the recent change in his Facebook status...

'Uncle Remus 'by Frank Zappa
There's nothing worse than getting all dressed up and then having someone spray you down with a hose. Unless of course you are an underwear model and you happen to be shooting an advert for a perfume called 'Freedom of Joy' and there are a bunch of other models there and the whole thing doesn't last longer than forty five seconds or so.
(There's no such person as 'The Wasp-Man' it was a reference to a review of a Joe Satriani gig in which his noodling was compared to the sound of a drowning wasp) also this.

'Change Despair' by Lagwagon
Based on the classical chord sequence A G D G A-minor,  C  B-Flat-Minor A D G, D V D A... Which underpinned most of the music of the early 90's punk pop scene in Canada, this is a just another classic of the genre.

'New York is Killing Me' by Gil Scott-Heron
Gil Scott-Heron is the ultimate dream of all performance poets. He is at the top of their career pyramid. While Gil was right, and the revolution wasn't televised there was a later HBO Mini Series all about what went on. It was also all over 4chan.

'The Mallard of Me and My Friends' by Frank Turner
Every group of friends all over the world is essentially the same group of people repeated again and again. And somewhere out is space there is another planet and on that planet there they are again, striving and working and humping each other and staring at girls in bars without ever realizing that they are already married to them. That was what Hitler said. I mean, say what you like about Hitler, but he couldn't half pull a bong.

Goodnight.

PS... if you email us and you can get to us... we will let you come on the show and you can even pick your own music and everything. Just give us a reason why we should.

DannAndMatt@bcfm.org.uk

We are in Bristol, UK.

8: The massivley rare... Lost Episode.

You can hear this famous Lost episode Here

This episode was swallowed by a Narwhal and only re-surfaced when the horny beast was captured by a group of gorilla fisherman (hoping to use the vast profits available from poaching rare animals for the 'Chinese medicine' trade to fund terrorism.) With help from various charities, we were able to give them £700 for the chewed up tape. Enough to save one whole Rhino from needless slaughter.


'Getting down with it' By The Kills
What do you do when the world is so appalling and disgusting and just plain vomit inducing that you just can't take any more? I suggest you take a leaf out of The Kills' book, change your name to Hotel and just Get down with it. In other words face the music and dance. Dance until you stray over a landmine and lose one of your legs. Dance until a child dies from a preventable illness. Rest for a moment in quiet contemplation and then start dancing again.

'Text Message' by Dann's Phone
My phone went off during this episode. I thought at one time that I might like to make a joke out of it. I have since changed my mind about that.

'Unprotected Sex with Multiple Partners' by Against Me! (Featuring Brendan Something, perhaps Brendan Kelly)
So Matt played this track by the Florida Punk band that is no longer legally allowed to give blood. According to rumour and hearsay the lead singer has now contracted chlamydia, the bassist has hepatitis and the drummer uses protection.

'The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side' by Magnetic Fields
This is a song sung by a man to a woman (I think a woman) that is very attractive. Sort of like a Mary figure in Something About Mary. He has a car.
Magnetic Fields are kind of awesome. I got this song from the album 69 Songs About Love. Five of those songs are about a minute long and I used them to time a section of my work out routine designed to Max Out core body strength. It's called the Plank.


'Ah Ha' by The Butthole Surfers
I so wanted this to be this or even This. The later of those two links was made by a friends of mine called Pete Simson. He booked out a Cinema, got the employees to pretend to be the audience, took his girlfriend there under the pretence of a regular date and then showed the video and proposed. She said yes!

'Furr'by Blitzen Trapper
Damn you Blitzen Trapper. Damn you for getting lucky with this track. I guess this track just proves that if enough chimps bash out enough words that rhyme, they might be able to create a decent song. That's what those old trapper boys did with this little ditty. Sadly I doubt they'll ever do it again.

'I Will Play' by Brand New
Yet another track about dying alone. I think Matt Plays these tracks because he's not married like I am. I don't have to worry about dying alone. I can rest assured that millions will watch me die: on a big screen in Times Square, with cheerleaders and a marching band.

'Jezebel' By Num

Here is a link to Num's Amazing Website

These are the lyrics to Jezebel, which if you have in front of you as you listen to the track will really help.

Counting the clouds passing over the sun
Laid in the shade we always had fun
Soon came the day when you'd make your own way
Wonder if somewhere you dream of the old days

Sun sister sun how it shined on the water
Soaked to the skin in the longest of summers
My little jezebel was ripe for the strangle
Sun in her eyes her hair in a tangle

Counting the leaves as they blew past the window
Wondering if somewhere you felt the way I do
My little jezebel I light you a candle
Sun in your eyes your hair in a tangle

I think that they're good lyrics.

'Enfilade' by At the Drive In

If you were to employ Enfilade at a Drive In you would be immediately arrested and rightly so.


Good night everyone. The Whale has been saved!