19: A Trilogy of Pain... (Part 1, The Ballad of Me and My Facebook Friends)

This is the first of three episodes in which Matt slips deeper and deeper into the horrific world of Emo. Luckily I'm more Elmo than Emo so it kind of balances it out. Anyway you can listen to it

HERE

At the start of the show you can hear me making references to how Clayton beat me up on air. One day you will all get to listen to that... but not today. Other things to spot durring the show are my attempts to get Matt to fill gaps in the programme by asking him about his 'Big weekend' I don't think he ever quite figures out what I'm doing.

Track Listings

'When the Man Comes Around' by Johnny Cash
My granddad went to Cambridge. He's an ex-vicar, ex-heavyweight boxer and an ex-Royal Engineer. He has shrapnel scars on his right arm and stories about invading Germany that you have to pull out of him like teeth. He used to ride through tank battles in an armoured car. He used to be the smartest, bravest and strongest man in almost any room. Now he has a three minute memory and he's pretty much all alone in the world. This song makes me think about him.

'Born on the FM Waves of the Heart' by Against Me
The heart does not produce FM Radio. Unless this is a reference to 'Heart FM' the pretend local station that is in fact syndicated from a central location with only split trails that reference your local area... (and perhaps one local show a day)  Heart FM is the living lie of Glocalization. Also a rival radio station. BCFM baby... For Ever Yo! or at least until someone offers to pay me cash money.

'Cable TV' by Fol Chen
Due to an earlier spelling mistake (now corrected) I have just started wondering what  Cabbie TV would be like.  Then stopped thinking about it very quickly as I remember conversations I've had with Cabbies.

'Radio' by Alkaline Trio
Batteries man! That's the cunning link here.
It was while this track was playing that I first had the thought... there must be something bothering Matt this week. I'm the one that's meant to play the bed-wetting music... Matt likes the HardCore Metal and Punk. Then I realised that this could have something to do with the recent change in his Facebook status...

'Uncle Remus 'by Frank Zappa
There's nothing worse than getting all dressed up and then having someone spray you down with a hose. Unless of course you are an underwear model and you happen to be shooting an advert for a perfume called 'Freedom of Joy' and there are a bunch of other models there and the whole thing doesn't last longer than forty five seconds or so.
(There's no such person as 'The Wasp-Man' it was a reference to a review of a Joe Satriani gig in which his noodling was compared to the sound of a drowning wasp) also this.

'Change Despair' by Lagwagon
Based on the classical chord sequence A G D G A-minor,  C  B-Flat-Minor A D G, D V D A... Which underpinned most of the music of the early 90's punk pop scene in Canada, this is a just another classic of the genre.

'New York is Killing Me' by Gil Scott-Heron
Gil Scott-Heron is the ultimate dream of all performance poets. He is at the top of their career pyramid. While Gil was right, and the revolution wasn't televised there was a later HBO Mini Series all about what went on. It was also all over 4chan.

'The Mallard of Me and My Friends' by Frank Turner
Every group of friends all over the world is essentially the same group of people repeated again and again. And somewhere out is space there is another planet and on that planet there they are again, striving and working and humping each other and staring at girls in bars without ever realizing that they are already married to them. That was what Hitler said. I mean, say what you like about Hitler, but he couldn't half pull a bong.

Goodnight.

PS... if you email us and you can get to us... we will let you come on the show and you can even pick your own music and everything. Just give us a reason why we should.

DannAndMatt@bcfm.org.uk

We are in Bristol, UK.

16: The Musrooms of Love.

We have never played the GLC on this programme but I promise that we will as soon as they release the almost inevitable cover of Newyork State of mind, called Newport State of Mind. It doesn't exist yet, but I'm pretty sure it will within a year or so.

You can listen to this classic laughter filled GLC free episode HERE

'May 16th' by Lagwagon 
The Lagwaggon has three wheels, is pursued by Cherokees but continues to roll along. on May 16th 1836 – Edgar Allan Poe married his 13-year-old cousin Virginia. If that happened now he'd be hounded out of the country like Roman Polanski. Edgar was a dark dude too man. I worry about the fate of poor Virginia, by the time she was 19 she would have been seriously jaded.

'Classy' by Kenickie 

It's not a good song... but is is sung by the lovely
 Lauren lovely Laverne. I know it's weird 
but I like to imagine Lauren just 
going about here day, perhaps collecting nesting
 material or stock piling food for the harsh
 winter ahead. She now has her own six music 
Show and presents the highly pretentious 
Culture Show on the BBC. 
All about British Culture.

'Hidden Track from Science' By Incubus

This is possibly the greatest track we ever have or 
will play on the ETP. The whole ETP crew is 
really excited about it. So much so that the they 
started running from one side of the boat to the 
other and eventually the whole thing capsized. 
Word to the mother!

'The Book of Love' by Magnetic Fields 

Imagine if the book of love was a set text on 
your sixth form syllabus... It's always there as an 
informal subject. I remember using Pride and 
Prejudice in order to pull girls. 
It never worked particularly well. 
Girls read all the Judy Bloom stuff. That's how

 come they get the head start. 
We boys just end up twisted and weird. 

The Razer by Head Automatica  

Head Automatica, feature the singer from 
Glass Jaw and one of the producers from 
Gorillaz and other stuff. I guess that makes them 
some kind of 'Super Group' Supper Group, Lunch 
Singers. Breakfast Club. Club Sandwhich. 
oh dear, this is starting to sound like Mallet's Mallet. 
I've met Timmy Mallet, he came into my day-job 
radio station. I had to make him a cup of Tea. 
He likes it strong with two sugars and no milk.

'Blue Blood' by Foals 

I really like this song, but I get the feeling Matt 
could take it or leave it. I guess that is kind of the 
point of the show. We're not supposed to actually 
like each others music, but I think our shows are 
usually better when we do. I think I like this song 
because it reminds me of the band James but it's 
a bit funkier. Matt doesn't have a drivers licence.

'You're Gonna Break my Heart' by Malcolm Middleton

Poor Malcolm stuck between a rock and a hard place. 
He fears a broken heart but worries that if he finds true 
happiness, then he will no longer be able to write songs 
that are any good. Then he starts to worry if the songs are 
any good anyway. It's Lose-Lose for the Artistic Scottsman.

'Peaches' by The Presidents of the USA 

I could never figure out of this song was dirty or not.
 I mean there are obviously 'Peach Eating' references. 
But where does that figure on the profanity scale next to 
say... 'Walk this Way' by Run DMC? or  'put e'm on the glass'
, Sir Mixalot's  lesser known follow up to Baby got Back. 
Not very highly I suspect.

Sorry about the formatting... things went weird, for some reason. 

Goodnight. (allow the app.)

2: The Christmas Episodes (1)

Here is a link to Christmas Episode 1

This was the episode where we "accidentally" said 'Smelcome' for either the first or second time. A homage to this Utube Clip

Track Listings

'Oh Little Town of Bethlehem' (To the tune of house of the rising sun)
by Bob Rivers

I think we have a real classic on our hands here. Christmas music can be so Cheesy so why not take an old song and just convert it into a Christmas song. I think it works well. I would like to apologise personally to the city of New Orleans.

'We're all Going to Die' by Malcolm Middleton
During the show we fail to correctly name this angry Scottish man's take on Christmas but we do mention his video. You can see the video to this song here which proves that it really is a Christmas song and not just a warning to the perambulation obsessed contingent of the Proclaimer family.

'Last Christmas I Gave you my heart' (not) sung by Richard Cheese
The less said about this the better.

'Christmas in Las Vegas' by Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine
Normally Strictly a covers band this is a rare original offering by what is ironically a very original band. In the country of Genre-clash Richard is probably king.

my favourite lines are probably 'the elves are doubling down...' and 'What would Jesus Hit?'

Christmas has never been so Classy!

'Christmas is Awesome' by Reuben
This Surrey based rock band have captured the spirit of Christmas in the same way that Lordi captured the spirit of Eurovision with their classic 'Hard Rock Hallelujah' but we're not here to talk about Lordi we're here to talk about Rubens Barrichello, Christmas Parties and Run DMC.

'It's Cold Outside' Sung by James Taylor and Natalie Cole
James seemed like such a nice mild mannered man at the party. But when I woke up in his flat and realised that a bad bad thing had happened to me and that I couldn't remember a thing about it, my opinion of him changed. My main worry now is whether or not to keep the baby.

'Making Friends' by Lagwagon
Matt Setback shoehorns a bit of Lagwagon into the Christmas show by pretending that Making Friends is a thing that people only do at Christmas. This clearly isn't true. The name Lagwagon comes from the band's old tour van, which is pictured on on the back cover of the album Trashed. If you have downloaded their album, you won't get to see it.

'Circus Maximus' by Clutch
Circus sounds a bit like Christmas right? and Clutch are freakin' awesome. and this song talks about making love to the mythical beasts. The video practically films itself. Sadly I can't put a link to it as I can't find it on You Tube, You'll just have to lie back and imagine it for yourself.

'Changing the CD' by Matt Setback
This may well be the longest track we play on this show. Ever.

'The Shape of Punk to Come' by Refused
Brought to us by the Ghost of Christmas Punk. Christmas Christmas Christmas. Matt really failed to find enough Christmas tracks, which is why on the next episode I pick all the tracks. I'm the kind of guy that does his homework. I'm the one with a double first Degree and and MA with distinction. Matt got a 3rd. Although he got that in Physics and I got mine in Sociology and Creative Writing. I guess that kind of evens thing out.

'Hurt' sung by Johnny Cash (originally by Nine Inch Nails)
moving ever further away from being a Christmas Special this is the Track we choose to end on. The gravely tone of Cash's Delivery Gives this track a fantastic depth of feeling and sends goosebumps up the spine.

Merry Christmas Everybody. I'm writing this in February.