15: The Corrupt and Corporate, Corn-Chips Incident. (Featuring Sooty.)

Welcome once again to the Stashhouse. I can only assume you have come here for the weekly re'up yo... Fo'real. You can  listen to another Classic DVC and MST Joint RIGHT HERE MAN.
 
While you're waiting for it to load... Do you ever think that in the same way that the earth's maganetic field collects Solar radiation (the very force of which causes it to bend and stretch out of shape and then occasionally snap back to deposit rafts of energised particles to the magnetic poles in a display known as the northern lights) it could also collect sexual energy.

That perhaps there is an undetected orgasmic shield around mother-earth, bent and twisted out of shape by the constant erotic heat of the sun. Could it also then be possbile that like the aura borealis occasionaly rafts of steamy particalls could come flooding down and land on Norway and Sweden and Denmark, and that this phenominon could be so localised as to be channelled towards a bus full of roller derby contestants, student nurses and perhaps a contingent of Russian ladies tennis professionals and that it could cause them all to perform a massive, collective and involuntary gasp of joy, and that this pleasure yelp could be loud enough to be heard around the world. Could it be that it would be so loud and so pure as to be heard by all the soldiers in all the world, from Afganistan to Mozambique, and all the Oil men and Bankers in new York and London strangling their consciences just to get ahead, and for one glorious moment they could think to themselves. What are we fighting for? Why are we struggling? Do we really need all this oil and money and fast cars and guns? No, we don't need anything, anything at all, except the chance to hear that sweet, sweet sound once again. An off they would go... North towards the frozen sky and a bus load of sirenic beauties...  and one by one, for lack of food and heat and money, they would die.

Maybe not.

Ok. Enough of that. On with the...
Track Listings

'One Cloud' by Beth Rowley
 Beth Rowley has never worked with Sooty and had she been live in the studio she would have been really excited to do so. Beth is kind of local but she's been quietly tapping on the door of global success for a little while now and I would bet that by this time next year she will be far too well known to fall into the remit of our little show. Beth's lawyers have told me that 'She does not have a serious sexual appetite' and that 'She would have no trouble resisting my charms'

'' by Babyhead
We spend ages talking about "Man Child" whose actual stage-name is "ManCub" Manchild was an awful sudo-political song that I think was about absent fathers (or drugs or something) sung by Nenah Cherry. I used to think Nenah sucked... and then I heard her brother Eagle Eye. His music made me want have The Eagles pull my eyes out and stuff them in my ears so I wouldn't have to hear it any more. I love The Eagles I also love Babyhead. Sadly, I got no love for the cherry family.


'Guilty Cocker Spaniels' by Modest Mouse
Spaceghost! Spaceghost!  Spaceghost! 
I seem to like bands from three main places. Bristol, Illinois and Seattle. I didn't plan for things to be be this way, it's just the way things panned out. Modest Mouse were named after a three day cyclocross event that the band tool part in. As a team they achieved a competitive time but were sadly beaten by a team of polite Canadians who told them they had a condition that prevented their teeth from ever stopping growing. The Canadians had to chew wood just to keep their teeth down, their team name was the modest mice.


Tannhäuser/Derive by Refused
This 8 minute epic is from 'The Shape of Punk to Come' quite a cocky title really. The opening lines to this track are 'So where do we go from here, just about anywhere' The same lines used in the first advert for the Tom Tom GPS device. Matt loves this album. I love my Sat Nav. Matt doesn't drive.

'Fables' by the Dodos
I'm gonna make the rest of this quick because  have to go visit my sister... but yeah! the Dodos. All very nice. I like the middle eightness of this band and also the kind of soundtrack to a Movie with Zach Braff in it vibe. It worries me that this could also appear in an episode of 90210 or something... but you could say that about Imagen Heap you know... and she's cool right... I mean you know... if you forget that she sounds a bit like Enya...  Ipod generation and all that. I cannot afford an Ipod.

'Welcome to the Black Parade' by My Chemical Romance
Matt picked this track against his better interests and thus we only played the intro.


'Saving Grace' By Tom Petty
Classic driving music. I'm starting to wonder if Matt and I's tastes in music have been subtly affected by the fact that I can drive and he can't. Matt will never understand the joy of pulling into fifth on the crest of a hill or that slow-burn adrenalin yeehaa of doing a ton on the M4 when your wife is asleep and thus not able to scream and tell you to slow down, he'll never learn to love the secretly addictive night-time rush that one gets from the flash of government speed camera when your cruising through a 30 zone at 8o miles an hour in a recently stolen 1979 Camero, before turning left into a shopping mall. wait that might have been GTA...

'I Fell Asleep on My Arm' by the Aquabats
I think that this kind of falls flat on me because I don't have the encyclopedic knowledge of Rap Metal that Matt does. I did find it pretty funny... but I guess it's kind of the same as him watching this. 

Goodnight sexy people. And Sexless people. Goodnight.


We will eat anything for £20
dannandmatt@bcfm.org.uk

2: The Christmas Episodes (1)

Here is a link to Christmas Episode 1

This was the episode where we "accidentally" said 'Smelcome' for either the first or second time. A homage to this Utube Clip

Track Listings

'Oh Little Town of Bethlehem' (To the tune of house of the rising sun)
by Bob Rivers

I think we have a real classic on our hands here. Christmas music can be so Cheesy so why not take an old song and just convert it into a Christmas song. I think it works well. I would like to apologise personally to the city of New Orleans.

'We're all Going to Die' by Malcolm Middleton
During the show we fail to correctly name this angry Scottish man's take on Christmas but we do mention his video. You can see the video to this song here which proves that it really is a Christmas song and not just a warning to the perambulation obsessed contingent of the Proclaimer family.

'Last Christmas I Gave you my heart' (not) sung by Richard Cheese
The less said about this the better.

'Christmas in Las Vegas' by Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine
Normally Strictly a covers band this is a rare original offering by what is ironically a very original band. In the country of Genre-clash Richard is probably king.

my favourite lines are probably 'the elves are doubling down...' and 'What would Jesus Hit?'

Christmas has never been so Classy!

'Christmas is Awesome' by Reuben
This Surrey based rock band have captured the spirit of Christmas in the same way that Lordi captured the spirit of Eurovision with their classic 'Hard Rock Hallelujah' but we're not here to talk about Lordi we're here to talk about Rubens Barrichello, Christmas Parties and Run DMC.

'It's Cold Outside' Sung by James Taylor and Natalie Cole
James seemed like such a nice mild mannered man at the party. But when I woke up in his flat and realised that a bad bad thing had happened to me and that I couldn't remember a thing about it, my opinion of him changed. My main worry now is whether or not to keep the baby.

'Making Friends' by Lagwagon
Matt Setback shoehorns a bit of Lagwagon into the Christmas show by pretending that Making Friends is a thing that people only do at Christmas. This clearly isn't true. The name Lagwagon comes from the band's old tour van, which is pictured on on the back cover of the album Trashed. If you have downloaded their album, you won't get to see it.

'Circus Maximus' by Clutch
Circus sounds a bit like Christmas right? and Clutch are freakin' awesome. and this song talks about making love to the mythical beasts. The video practically films itself. Sadly I can't put a link to it as I can't find it on You Tube, You'll just have to lie back and imagine it for yourself.

'Changing the CD' by Matt Setback
This may well be the longest track we play on this show. Ever.

'The Shape of Punk to Come' by Refused
Brought to us by the Ghost of Christmas Punk. Christmas Christmas Christmas. Matt really failed to find enough Christmas tracks, which is why on the next episode I pick all the tracks. I'm the kind of guy that does his homework. I'm the one with a double first Degree and and MA with distinction. Matt got a 3rd. Although he got that in Physics and I got mine in Sociology and Creative Writing. I guess that kind of evens thing out.

'Hurt' sung by Johnny Cash (originally by Nine Inch Nails)
moving ever further away from being a Christmas Special this is the Track we choose to end on. The gravely tone of Cash's Delivery Gives this track a fantastic depth of feeling and sends goosebumps up the spine.

Merry Christmas Everybody. I'm writing this in February.