10: The Seal of Approval.

You can listen to the chaotic collectors item that is episode 12 HERE

We start this episode by making veiled references to this piece of music, Possibly the most pretentious piece of Pre-Ghetto Fabulous Hip Hop that the Non-Gangster, De la Soul Family (this particular branch being Arrested Development...) ever produced. It was a different world back then as God and the Devil fought for the Soul of Hip Hop. Puff Daddy won.

Enough blathering, on with the track listings!

Track Listings

'Down in the Hole' by Tom Waits
Tom Waits doesn't sound totally sober, but the word is... he is. Even during this drunken ramble about the struggle between good and evil that goes on within us all. I think the essential message is that we should all dig a pit, and that we can use this pit as a king of naughty step for Satan. During this episode Matt and I begin worshipping a Seal, a Seal that it was necessary for us to invent.
This song is the theme Tune to The Wire Matt thinks it's 'Just another cop show'. I shall fetch the great big bloody bin.

'Astrocreep' By White Zombie
White Zombie were what passed as Heavy, back in the day. They combined rock stylings with a kind of repetitive Dance beat and repeated quotes from Blade-runner. They opens the track with some hot sex noises, which I would have thought were the prerogative of French Musicians. When this aired, I took a bit of this sex noise and used it to beep out sexual swearwords. I though this was 'ironic', it's 'ironic that I am telling you this now. Welcome to post-modernity where everything is great because you have no standard against which to measure it. Progress is a Lie. Here is a link to the cover art.

'Basket Case' by The Moog Cookbook (originally by Green Day)
When someone asks me, Dann, What the hell is a Moog? I like to look down at them as one would do to a wide-eyed child and say, Son... It's your best friend and your worst enemy, Moog will show you heaven and it will show you hell, but at the end of the day it's a great night in.
I remember some classic Moog Sessions with my cousin that may well have changed the world in some way... Perhaps for the better, Who knows? He's pretty successful now. I like to think our early experiments with Moog played a pretty big part in that.


'Deep in the Hole' by Masters of Reality
Oddly enough, whenever I hear this it makes me think of that bit in wind in the willows where the weasels and stoats take over Toadhall and Mr Toad and Badger have to chase them out. I picture the stoats dancing to this song as it is played out by an all weasel band on a makeshift stage in his foyer. Beep Beep!
Masters of Reality previously did a BA in Reality at Bath Spa University, under the influential and legendary lecturer Mimi Thebo.

Would you eat a rectal thermometer?

'Toxic Girl' by the Kings of Convenience
The Kings of Convenience claim to be from Norway, there are several reasons why this is impossible. Mostly they just sound like they are faking it. I get the idea that the two of them were sat in a basement in London somewhere and they decided that their unique brand of sappy-guitar duet-ism might go down better if people believed they were from a foreign and exotic land. They stuck a pin in the map and the rest is history. There is no record of either member of the band competing in the winter Olympics... or crucially getting on a plane. I swear to god they're from Billericay.


'Phoenix in Flight' and 'Phoenix in flames' by Converge

The group's musical style consists of complex guitar work and off-time polyrhythmic drumming leading some to describe the band as mathcore[9][10][11][12][13]. This is best exemplified on their album Jane Doe. While using hardcore punk as the framework for most of their songs, they also play slower tempo songs, like "Jane Doe", "You Fail Me", "Grim Heart/Black Rose", "Cruel Bloom", and "Wretched World.
Wikipedia "

Mathcore? seriously of all the cores that has to be the one that gets the least groupies.

'Kiss Off' by the Violent Femmes
The Violent Femmes totally were around in the 80's but most people didn't hear about them until they had a song on that advert for some mobile phone or something. I think the song was Blister in the Sun... It might have been for MasterCard... I like how adverts sometimes do a better job of advertising songs than they do their own products.

'Eat Me' by Rectal Thermometer featuring Huw Edwards
This isn't a real band. There is no interview. This is probably close enough...

'Nick Motown' and then 'No Reason' by Snuff
Sadly the version of this episode that I uploaded for internet usage is not the clean version. Sorry Kids. I find it odd that we don't swear in the media when we do it everywhere else. It's as if we worship a certain set of words and treat them with a holy reverence reserved for very few other things. I'll let you mull over why that might be... Anyway.

See you next Tuesday! (Shows go out on BCFM on Friday Nights 9PM Greenwich Mean Time.)

Dann

7: The Pretentious Special!

You can hear this Pretentious Show: HERE

This show is dedicated to Sheila in Gwent an 86 year old woman who heard me on another radio station and asked for more information... She said that she was going to get her son to help her find us on the internet. I like to think she listened to the whole thing... this ones for you Sheila.

'Brother Sport' by Animal Collective
What can I say about Animal Collective that I didn't say last time we played them. How about this, they have the weirdest Gang-names I have ever heard of, Avey Tare (David Portner), Panda Bear (Noah Lennox), Deacon (Josh Dibb), and Geologist (Brian Weitz). I ain't never heard of no Gang-Banger callin' himself Geologist before. but then again they are from Baltimore. This track is my current ring-tone. It makes me want to pick up my receiver and shout out 'Ahoy Hoy' at the top of my lungs. I love this band so much it's freaky.

'Cygnus....Vismund Cygnus' The Mars Volta
Shifting from English to Spanish and back again at will, this is the longest track yet played on the Erotic Toast project, I like it because you can pretty much clean your entire flat in just one playing, thus earning major brownie points from your significant male/female companion. Mostly female... male companions don't tend to notice. I also like that it mentions the ocean floor. For obvious reasons.

'I Don't Wanna' Be The One (acoustic version)' by the Ting Tings
On air I promiced the listener a full report of our in-depth 'Interview and session' with the Ting Tings. it pretty much went like this.

Dann: Hello, is that the Ting Tings?
The Ting Tings: No, this is Easton Express
Dann: Really?
The Ting Tings: Yes
Dann: In that case, I'll have a Fuji Bento, and some Prawn Crackers... Hey Matt Do you want anything?
Matt Setback: Some of those vegetable things
Dann: And some of those vegetable things please.
The Ting Tings: no problem, it will be there in 60 minutes
Dann: Do people ever call you Stacy?
The Ting Tings: No, I just take your order, ok?
Matt Setback: Ask them why the hell they can't say Wait'ting' when the god damn name of the group is the 'Ting' 'tings...'

Our food arrived in less than half an hour.

Ok back to the music...
This song is kind of the opposite of This Track by Lily Allen. The top youtube comment when I posted that link was, "Can you Get Lily Allen Toilet Paper?" I'm not sure if they wanted it because they hate Lily Allen or just love her in a really sick way. Either way it was a cool post and I salute it.


'First Light' and 'Last Light' by Converge
Massachusetts. Home of MIT, the king of all the Tech based universities. Converge are actually from Salem, whose witch trials have ironically become synonymous with the dangers of too little education and possibly Ergot poisoning. Converge have been described on wikipedia as 'Metalcore'. How that differs from 'Metal' I have no idea. lets give whoever made that description up a big hand.

'Legionaires Lament' by the Decemberists

When on December 14, 1824, Lieutenant Panov and other high ranking leaders marched with armed troops to Senate Square in St. Petersburg, Russia, to force the Senate to sign a manifesto deposing the autocracy, abolishing serfdom, and proposing the institution of democratic reforms they were harshly quelled. Due to the hesitation and vacillation on the part of their own leaders, these Decembrists, as they became known, ultimately failed in their quest to bring liberal Western ideals to a backwards and mystical Russia. Their legacy, however, lived on. The group came to be regarded as the forefathers of the Russian revolutionary movement.

Quoted from here

Sadly it's very difficult to get information on these important revolutionary pioneers as most google searches get swamped by the more popular band of the same name. Ironic, since they presumably chose the name in the hope of shedding light on this somewhat obscured piece of human history.

'Ænima' by Tool
The title Ænima is a combination of the words 'anima' (Latin for 'soul') associated with the ideas of "life force" and a term often used by psychologist Carl Jung and 'enema' the medical procedure beloved by the bowel obsessed inventor of cornflakes.
At the time of recording neither me nor Matt knew this, and thus, from a position of ignorance, we both do our best to sound clever. I'll let you decide which one of us wins. It looks like I'll be the one getting the free enema!


'Good Night, Another Bad Morning' by the Kills
lets explore the possible meanings of this song. The Kills could be implying that any kind of a good time comes at a cost, not just the obvious idea of alcoholic indulgence leading to hangovers, but a deeper explanation of the philosophical and religious ideas of karmic cause and effect. like night and day, good and bad simply do not exist except by comparison to one another... a good night, A bad morning... such is the way of things.

Or it could be, an analysis of takings at a local bar or restaurant...

Perhaps it's simply wishing someone called 'Anne Uther-BadMorning, a good night as the credits roll on a re-run of QI and the two of them share a cup of coco. At this point I don't care.

Goodnight everybody, God bless us one and all...