35: The Self Indulgent Special

When you start listening to this episode you will realise why I might have waited a while before unleasing it upon our small but devoted fan base.... (Glen)

This was a failed experiment in radio broadcasting, possibly a subconscious attempt to get taken off the air. My wife calls it "a cry for help."   Bad for the eyesight good for the colon: it is the Self Indulgent Special which you can listen to...

here

I apologise for the lack of quality in this weeks write up... but I have a lot of things I'm meant to be doing so I'm just going to bash this one out as quickly as possible.

Track Listings

"I Touch Myself" Performed by Rolf Harris (originally by Divynals)
I'm sorry... I'm so so sorry.
Someone told me that their mum was listining to the radio when this came on.
When bad things happen to be from now on I will know it was becuase I played this recording of a much loved Australian children's entertainer tickling his old fella.  And not because I once called the police on a bunch of teenager who were holding an orgy in a railway tunnel.

"Waggy" By Blink 182
The number 182  referes to the the average number of strokes required to become mechanically aroused without the use of any other stimulous. This was tested in 1982 in an isolation tank in California with a research pool of seven hundred body-builders and one nineteen year old nurse.

"Long View" by Greenday
Once when I was a thirteen I went to the dentist to have filling replaced, she was wearing a blue shirt. At one point she had to put her knee up on the chair to get a better angle to drill on my tooth. Because of the way the cloth folded I got clean line of sight between the buttons into the valley of her cleavage. Ever since then the sound of a dentist's drill still wakes me up at night.

"Why Bother" by Weezer
Girl Pirates on the high seas of the Caribbean would sometimes expose their breasts in the midst of battle. It is said that the sea air and active lifestyle made them so exquisite as to render any full blooded male enamoured to the point of paralysis by their warm and succulent proximity. one by one the armys of the world succumbed and died with with a smile on their face and rapiers blade hilt deep in their flesh. So it was that the Caribbean became a world power it is to day.

"Wow I Can Get Sexual Too" by Say Anything.
A Summer's day... a softly vibrating vehicle. Gear-stick throbbing in your hand. Some girl in a Fiat Punto with a businesslike haircut avoiding your eye contact.  She is four feet and two sheets of glass away but you can feel the chemistry. Then the lights change and you never see her again. 

"Paulina" by No Doubt
Gwen Stefani. Baywatch.  Loaded Magazine.  The naked swimming scene in "Walkabout". Any French film on Channel Four.   Enormous Boobs
 
"Fourteen" by The Vandals
 When I was fourteen the internet didn't really exist as we know it today. There was no streaming video only grainy one minute clips that could not be previewed and often took over an hour download. Deep in the the dead of night even still images could take a full minutes to slowly resolve in-front of my eager adolescent eyes. Quite frankly it was impractical, also the dial up modems made a lot of noise and tended to give me away.



"Leave it Alone" by No FX
Sometimes I think about what it will be like to be in an old people's home. I like to think that I'll still have my hair and as long as I can stay thin I reckon I'll still be quite a good looking for an octogenarian. I reckon if I live pretty cleanly then I can outlive the majority of my sexual competition and it will be a full on hump-fest!!


"The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston
 Learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all. The French have several words for love. If this had been true of English this song might have made a lot more sense.

Goodnight everyone.

;)