10: The Seal of Approval.

You can listen to the chaotic collectors item that is episode 12 HERE

We start this episode by making veiled references to this piece of music, Possibly the most pretentious piece of Pre-Ghetto Fabulous Hip Hop that the Non-Gangster, De la Soul Family (this particular branch being Arrested Development...) ever produced. It was a different world back then as God and the Devil fought for the Soul of Hip Hop. Puff Daddy won.

Enough blathering, on with the track listings!

Track Listings

'Down in the Hole' by Tom Waits
Tom Waits doesn't sound totally sober, but the word is... he is. Even during this drunken ramble about the struggle between good and evil that goes on within us all. I think the essential message is that we should all dig a pit, and that we can use this pit as a king of naughty step for Satan. During this episode Matt and I begin worshipping a Seal, a Seal that it was necessary for us to invent.
This song is the theme Tune to The Wire Matt thinks it's 'Just another cop show'. I shall fetch the great big bloody bin.

'Astrocreep' By White Zombie
White Zombie were what passed as Heavy, back in the day. They combined rock stylings with a kind of repetitive Dance beat and repeated quotes from Blade-runner. They opens the track with some hot sex noises, which I would have thought were the prerogative of French Musicians. When this aired, I took a bit of this sex noise and used it to beep out sexual swearwords. I though this was 'ironic', it's 'ironic that I am telling you this now. Welcome to post-modernity where everything is great because you have no standard against which to measure it. Progress is a Lie. Here is a link to the cover art.

'Basket Case' by The Moog Cookbook (originally by Green Day)
When someone asks me, Dann, What the hell is a Moog? I like to look down at them as one would do to a wide-eyed child and say, Son... It's your best friend and your worst enemy, Moog will show you heaven and it will show you hell, but at the end of the day it's a great night in.
I remember some classic Moog Sessions with my cousin that may well have changed the world in some way... Perhaps for the better, Who knows? He's pretty successful now. I like to think our early experiments with Moog played a pretty big part in that.


'Deep in the Hole' by Masters of Reality
Oddly enough, whenever I hear this it makes me think of that bit in wind in the willows where the weasels and stoats take over Toadhall and Mr Toad and Badger have to chase them out. I picture the stoats dancing to this song as it is played out by an all weasel band on a makeshift stage in his foyer. Beep Beep!
Masters of Reality previously did a BA in Reality at Bath Spa University, under the influential and legendary lecturer Mimi Thebo.

Would you eat a rectal thermometer?

'Toxic Girl' by the Kings of Convenience
The Kings of Convenience claim to be from Norway, there are several reasons why this is impossible. Mostly they just sound like they are faking it. I get the idea that the two of them were sat in a basement in London somewhere and they decided that their unique brand of sappy-guitar duet-ism might go down better if people believed they were from a foreign and exotic land. They stuck a pin in the map and the rest is history. There is no record of either member of the band competing in the winter Olympics... or crucially getting on a plane. I swear to god they're from Billericay.


'Phoenix in Flight' and 'Phoenix in flames' by Converge

The group's musical style consists of complex guitar work and off-time polyrhythmic drumming leading some to describe the band as mathcore[9][10][11][12][13]. This is best exemplified on their album Jane Doe. While using hardcore punk as the framework for most of their songs, they also play slower tempo songs, like "Jane Doe", "You Fail Me", "Grim Heart/Black Rose", "Cruel Bloom", and "Wretched World.
Wikipedia "

Mathcore? seriously of all the cores that has to be the one that gets the least groupies.

'Kiss Off' by the Violent Femmes
The Violent Femmes totally were around in the 80's but most people didn't hear about them until they had a song on that advert for some mobile phone or something. I think the song was Blister in the Sun... It might have been for MasterCard... I like how adverts sometimes do a better job of advertising songs than they do their own products.

'Eat Me' by Rectal Thermometer featuring Huw Edwards
This isn't a real band. There is no interview. This is probably close enough...

'Nick Motown' and then 'No Reason' by Snuff
Sadly the version of this episode that I uploaded for internet usage is not the clean version. Sorry Kids. I find it odd that we don't swear in the media when we do it everywhere else. It's as if we worship a certain set of words and treat them with a holy reverence reserved for very few other things. I'll let you mull over why that might be... Anyway.

See you next Tuesday! (Shows go out on BCFM on Friday Nights 9PM Greenwich Mean Time.)

Dann

9: Eleven brides for Eleven brothers.

You can listen to the Classic 'As Live' Eleventh Episode, Palidrome Special featuring exclusive web only content for anyone willing to sit though three or four minutes of Miles Davis... HERE This episode doesn't start very well, but the end is killer.

DannAndMAtt@bcfm.org.uk Email us... we are lonely.

Track Listings
I roamed under it as a tired, nude Maori.

'Bullets' by Archive
Somewhere out there, there are bullets being smuggled with your name on them. Change your name. Archive are kind of hit and miss in my opinion. Perhaps that's because I'm English. If English people were exotic to me, like Pandas or something, I'd probably be really into this. Good sound. Lyrics need a bit of work, 8 out of 10.

A man, a plan, a canal: panama.

'Jamie' by Weezer (unplayed but mentioned)
This is all that I'm going to give you on this one. I like the bongos. Also, I love lamp.

Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?

'Accident Prone' by JawBreaker
Jawbreaker sound like they are English but they're not. I guess they are like Transvestites but with nationality instead of gender... I'm pretty sure that J Edgar Hoover said that kind of behaviour was Un-American.
Jawbreaker are from San Francisco, California. Durring the show Matt says he's pretty sure they're English but then again his 'girl' has really big hands.

Madam in Eden, I'm Adam.

'Unforgiven' Performed by Iron Horse (Originally by Metallica).
I am so sorry Iron Horse. I totally name-check you guys as Hayseed Dixie... which was wrong of me. I have started to beat myself once a day (usually in the morning, during my shower) in an attempt to make amends for my heinous error.

Poor Dan is in a droop.

'What it is to Burn' by Finch
Having had a look at the lyrics this song seems to basically be about Sun Worship. which is pretty cool. During the show, Matt claims that Science is boring. He does not come up with a theory as to what we should replace it with but on the face of it Sun Worship does seem like a viable alternative. The resultant kick ass tans and nakedness would certainly be more stimulating than peer review.

So many dynamos!

'Ghosts' by Ladytron
I don't know what I was thinking. I really don't. I thought I'd give them a try and see if they grew on me, but they didn't really. I'm sure they are lovely people who will make Phat Bucks making music... I compare them to Girls Aloud which probably isn't fair. They have a totally different image.

Drab as a fool, aloof as a bard.

'The Mob Goes Wild' by Clutch
One band that never fails to apoint is Clutch. Clutch can save any situation. This song is about the good time dance, moving to Canada, and bum rushing. I looked up Bum Rushing on the Urban Dictionary. It is as I suspected, Bum referes to the perp being cheap and unable to pay the door tax, the rush refers to the sudden movement of people.

Bombard a drab mob.

'Tropicana' by Ratatat
It's the middle section of this bit of music that really does it for me.
Does it like Scarlet Johansen in the middle of a lonely heatwave. For me this track is Desert Island good. Matt thinks Ratatat sound like Blur, I don't agree. Once again my wife agrees with Matt. She always takes his side... This is just like the time the three of us shared a bed.

Ten animals I slam in a net.

'Bitches Brew' by Miles Davis
Miles... Davis. Driving at 1000 miles an hour, Miles... Davis: Miles 'free form Jazz Through uptown New York' Davis.(20 minutes to save Ferris. Miles Davis) My face Miles.. (miles) D Miles Avis. Your face with a grip on a steering wheel, getting looser and looser. Driving that whale up towards distaste and disaster. Miles Mutherfubnkin DavidZ. Jazz. Tangerine. Tangerine? Tangerine!

Goodnight Trilobites.

8: The massivley rare... Lost Episode.

You can hear this famous Lost episode Here

This episode was swallowed by a Narwhal and only re-surfaced when the horny beast was captured by a group of gorilla fisherman (hoping to use the vast profits available from poaching rare animals for the 'Chinese medicine' trade to fund terrorism.) With help from various charities, we were able to give them £700 for the chewed up tape. Enough to save one whole Rhino from needless slaughter.


'Getting down with it' By The Kills
What do you do when the world is so appalling and disgusting and just plain vomit inducing that you just can't take any more? I suggest you take a leaf out of The Kills' book, change your name to Hotel and just Get down with it. In other words face the music and dance. Dance until you stray over a landmine and lose one of your legs. Dance until a child dies from a preventable illness. Rest for a moment in quiet contemplation and then start dancing again.

'Text Message' by Dann's Phone
My phone went off during this episode. I thought at one time that I might like to make a joke out of it. I have since changed my mind about that.

'Unprotected Sex with Multiple Partners' by Against Me! (Featuring Brendan Something, perhaps Brendan Kelly)
So Matt played this track by the Florida Punk band that is no longer legally allowed to give blood. According to rumour and hearsay the lead singer has now contracted chlamydia, the bassist has hepatitis and the drummer uses protection.

'The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side' by Magnetic Fields
This is a song sung by a man to a woman (I think a woman) that is very attractive. Sort of like a Mary figure in Something About Mary. He has a car.
Magnetic Fields are kind of awesome. I got this song from the album 69 Songs About Love. Five of those songs are about a minute long and I used them to time a section of my work out routine designed to Max Out core body strength. It's called the Plank.


'Ah Ha' by The Butthole Surfers
I so wanted this to be this or even This. The later of those two links was made by a friends of mine called Pete Simson. He booked out a Cinema, got the employees to pretend to be the audience, took his girlfriend there under the pretence of a regular date and then showed the video and proposed. She said yes!

'Furr'by Blitzen Trapper
Damn you Blitzen Trapper. Damn you for getting lucky with this track. I guess this track just proves that if enough chimps bash out enough words that rhyme, they might be able to create a decent song. That's what those old trapper boys did with this little ditty. Sadly I doubt they'll ever do it again.

'I Will Play' by Brand New
Yet another track about dying alone. I think Matt Plays these tracks because he's not married like I am. I don't have to worry about dying alone. I can rest assured that millions will watch me die: on a big screen in Times Square, with cheerleaders and a marching band.

'Jezebel' By Num

Here is a link to Num's Amazing Website

These are the lyrics to Jezebel, which if you have in front of you as you listen to the track will really help.

Counting the clouds passing over the sun
Laid in the shade we always had fun
Soon came the day when you'd make your own way
Wonder if somewhere you dream of the old days

Sun sister sun how it shined on the water
Soaked to the skin in the longest of summers
My little jezebel was ripe for the strangle
Sun in her eyes her hair in a tangle

Counting the leaves as they blew past the window
Wondering if somewhere you felt the way I do
My little jezebel I light you a candle
Sun in your eyes your hair in a tangle

I think that they're good lyrics.

'Enfilade' by At the Drive In

If you were to employ Enfilade at a Drive In you would be immediately arrested and rightly so.


Good night everyone. The Whale has been saved!