This episode was swallowed by a Narwhal and only re-surfaced when the horny beast was captured by a group of gorilla fisherman (hoping to use the vast profits available from poaching rare animals for the 'Chinese medicine' trade to fund terrorism.) With help from various charities, we were able to give them £700 for the chewed up tape. Enough to save one whole Rhino from needless slaughter.
'Getting down with it' By The Kills
What do you do when the world is so appalling and disgusting and just plain vomit inducing that you just can't take any more? I suggest you take a leaf out of The Kills' book, change your name to Hotel and just Get down with it. In other words face the music and dance. Dance until you stray over a landmine and lose one of your legs. Dance until a child dies from a preventable illness. Rest for a moment in quiet contemplation and then start dancing again.
'Text Message' by Dann's Phone
My phone went off during this episode. I thought at one time that I might like to make a joke out of it. I have since changed my mind about that.
'Unprotected Sex with Multiple Partners' by Against Me! (Featuring Brendan Something, perhaps Brendan Kelly)
So Matt played this track by the Florida Punk band that is no longer legally allowed to give blood. According to rumour and hearsay the lead singer has now contracted chlamydia, the bassist has hepatitis and the drummer uses protection.
'The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side' by Magnetic Fields
This is a song sung by a man to a woman (I think a woman) that is very attractive. Sort of like a Mary figure in Something About Mary. He has a car.
Magnetic Fields are kind of awesome. I got this song from the album 69 Songs About Love. Five of those songs are about a minute long and I used them to time a section of my work out routine designed to Max Out core body strength. It's called the Plank.
'Ah Ha' by The Butthole Surfers
I so wanted this to be this or even This. The later of those two links was made by a friends of mine called Pete Simson. He booked out a Cinema, got the employees to pretend to be the audience, took his girlfriend there under the pretence of a regular date and then showed the video and proposed. She said yes!
'Furr'by Blitzen Trapper
Damn you Blitzen Trapper. Damn you for getting lucky with this track. I guess this track just proves that if enough chimps bash out enough words that rhyme, they might be able to create a decent song. That's what those old trapper boys did with this little ditty. Sadly I doubt they'll ever do it again.
'I Will Play' by Brand New
Yet another track about dying alone. I think Matt Plays these tracks because he's not married like I am. I don't have to worry about dying alone. I can rest assured that millions will watch me die: on a big screen in Times Square, with cheerleaders and a marching band.
'Jezebel' By Num
Here is a link to Num's Amazing Website
These are the lyrics to Jezebel, which if you have in front of you as you listen to the track will really help.
Counting the clouds passing over the sun
Laid in the shade we always had fun
Soon came the day when you'd make your own way
Wonder if somewhere you dream of the old days
Sun sister sun how it shined on the water
Soaked to the skin in the longest of summers
My little jezebel was ripe for the strangle
Sun in her eyes her hair in a tangle
Counting the leaves as they blew past the window
Wondering if somewhere you felt the way I do
My little jezebel I light you a candle
Sun in your eyes your hair in a tangle
I think that they're good lyrics.
'Enfilade' by At the Drive In
If you were to employ Enfilade at a Drive In you would be immediately arrested and rightly so.
Good night everyone. The Whale has been saved!
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