25: Valley of the large breasted women and other cliches.

Matt and I run a tight ship. We don't suffer fools gladly. We call a spade a spade. We are no-nonsense, you get what you pay for, salt of the earth type broadcasters. We are diamonds in the rough, snakes on a plane, booty shaking, reggue dancehall loving cockney rebels and we don't give a damn and take no shit from nobody. In a time of heroes, trapped in a world gone mad, two men dared to dream a dream called freedom. If you liked Kindergarden Cop, Daddy Day Care and the Bourne Circumcision... You'll love this. It's like Mary Poppins does Dallas... On Acid! 

You can listen to or download our no holds barred, adrenlne fuelled, Orwellian nightmare of a radio programme...

Here

you can read the "humourous" Track Listings below.

TRACK LISTINGS

'Why Bother?' by Weezer

...

'Sucre' by The Stares

Sucre means sugar in french, but to anyone that watched Prison Break (Even if you only watched the first couple of series before realising that life was too short) it means so much more. It means a pluckly and lovable hobre with a great smile and a can-do attitude. An honorable thief that will sacrifice all for the cell mate he has grown to love like a brother.

'Bro Hymn' by Pennywise

From the cold and impersonal wilderness of postmodern life, from the isolated cellular seclusion of the cyber-sequestrated realms of human time and space, comes a love song to the crowd. A song that bows it's head in reverence, to those pillars of the french revolution, Fraternity, Equality and Liberty X.

'You Don't Know Me (Homie)' by Ben Folds Featuring Regina Spektor

Ben folds also produced Amanda Palmer's latest Album. It appears Ben likes to work with attractive ladies who play the Piano. Watch this space for an Alicia Keys collaboration. Also watch out for the awesome and musically onomatopoaeic 'disharmonies' that appear towards the end of the song. very clever.

'Milk Lizard' by The Dillinger Escape Plan

I'm just going to use the title of this track to do a load of links to blue Jam.  this one    this one    this one and this one. I really would advise that no-one watch them. To be honest it's all a bit too much for me to deal with. They make me feel like I've been reading the random tab on 4chan... I'm pretty sure that Chris Morris is some kind of high-functioning psycho. 

'Creep' By Amanda Palmer (Original by Radio Head)

Amanda Palmer not playing the piano, not playing her own material and still being awesome... Amanda is engaged to Neil Gaiman.  You know Neil right... that dude with all the brains talent and money in the world. Damn you Gaiman, why must you mock me?

'Come Quietly' By Strobe 45

Stef had ginger hair but he died it black. He rode a BMX and he rode it well, but he once lost a girl to a guy that could do back flips. He was crazy into Ayrton Senna and he drove a car that was half van and half car. He's still out there somewhere, being awesome. One day he might google his old band name and then this will pop up. Hello Stef!!

'Ice Cream Man' By Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers

I really feel like this song should just go on forever. I'd love to go and see the modern lovers and for them to play a two hour set that opened, and closed with Ice Cream Man. perhaps kicked off with the words... 'I hope you enjoy our new direction.'

Goodnight.

11: Nepotism Special

the long awaited epic Nepotism Special can be heard... Here.

This Episode was all about people we know and the bands that they are both in and love. Or hate. While we are talking about people we know... Go Here Vids... brought back from the dead... and somewhat ironically obsessed with zombies.

Watch them.. but watch them in your own time. You're on our time now.

Who are we? We are the Erotic Toast Project. We like it weird. We like to create a mood with a silly voice.

I would like to warn you that we are still struggling with the area of broadcasting known as 'levels' and so the songs are a bit quiet...

On with the..

Track Listings

'Track 1' by John Schuller (now in the 'The Youngs')

John signed this album for me. He made several albums, the one he made while we shared a house together wasn't this one, it was called the lesser angel of failure and had a picture of Holman Hunt's scapegoat on the cover. The BBC reviewed it and even said nice things about it. I think he might have even got a double page spread in wired magazine or something...

'New Direction' by Strobe 45
It's a sad fact that Strobe 45 don't exist any more. They say however that the star that burns brightest doesn't burn for long. Look at James Dean, I mean really look at the bastard. I think you get the point.

Strobe 45 are now Guns or Knives
Steff is the one in the middle.

'Ours' Oxygen Thief (Matt's mate Barry)
Guitarntablism. like turntableism but with a guitar. a new musical religion? discuss. what is the purpose of religion. does it bring people together. does it bring unity to the community. does it clothe the hungry, feed those who are too cold to afford shoes. together we can do some good. Think about that.

'Deep' by TC
I had to cut most of the talking from the beginning of this track... did you notice. You pigs. you don't care about music. you just want to know where your next handful of pills is coming from. Go on, log off and get pissed... Go huff a bag full of meow meow, see if I care. You people make me wanna go to a greasy spoon order a full English breakfast, eat it and then throw the whole thing up over my mums freshly cleaned carpet.

'Transformation Fascination' by Vanity Scare

This is the first piece of the sub genre of Psychobilly I ever heard in my life. It sounds a lot like the HBO show True Blood. Now that's Quality Television. And this is a quality Band. They re-create the experience of dating a french man almost perfectly.

'Young Worrier' by Panic Number

I really like two of the members in this band. I respect them both personally and professionally. Neither of them sing on this I don't think... One of them appeared in this. Since playing this track I have found that it comes back and sits in my head for a few days at time. That Worrier, Cleverer line... Something about it that I like. I don't like the line about following people into the snow though. Sorry guy. I'll try harder.

'Maybe in Another Life' by Dig for Fire (now Cassette Culture and the Caves)
I can't find any links for the Caves or Cassette Culture but luckily due to the long memory of the internet I was able to link to Dig For Fire's Website. It's a song about Writing. Which you can probably tell is something pretty close to my heart. I just failed to place in yet another competition. It wouldn't bother me that much if it wasn't for the fact that my contribution made a up a small proportion if the winners payout. Talk about bitter irony. The production on this track was amazing.

'It Makes No Difference When You're Dead' by Tim Casswell
When I was a kid my dad was always on the guitar. To this day I think I would rather fall asleep to the sound of my father playing the guitar than any other sound. I'm pretty sure that through the walls of my mother's womb, into my amniotic soaked eardrums came the soft vibrations produced by my fathers fingertips as they danced on the tightened stings of a second hand acoustic.

Letter to America By Clayton Blizzard
Every one love Clayton! That's an order.