You want to know where we've been for the last month? Well Matt's been fine... but it's my birthday coming up. I'm about to turn thirty one. For the last month I have been curled up in a ball weeping at the horrific speed at which my life is passing and staring into the half-empty cardboard box of trinkets and photographs that I have amassed in that time. I have done nothing worthwhile with my life... except perhaps this... a few weeks back me and a friend Interviewed Clayton Blizard.
This Life Affirming Clayton Blizzard Special Can be heard HERE wait no, oh crap...
I seem to have misplaced the the one thing I'd done right in my life. This is the Covers Special... Like god said to me in a dream last night, 'you'll just have to make do with mediocrity.'
Track Listings for The Awesome Covers Special...
In the hope of being more regular I'm going to do less descriptive work on these from now on... Unless I get a bunch of emails telling me to do otherwise.
DannandMatt@bcfm.org.uk
'We are the World' by Richard Cheese (Originally by 'The World')
Richard pokes fun at well meaning celebs in his own inimitable style.
'Wuthering Heights' by China Drum (Originally by Kate Bush)
My old English teacher said that Wuthering Heights was a book about love and sex written by an eighteen year-old virgin. I think he was trying to inspire us.
'Life on Mars' by Seu Jorge (Originally by David Bowie)
At the risk of being laughed at by future generations I'm going to go ahead and stick my neck out as say that there isn't any life on Mars. I do however love the idea of life existing on Europa ice covered moon of Jupiter which may have a ocean beneath the ice that is 200 miles deep. Think about it.
'Buddy Holly' By Biffy Clyro (Originally by Weezer)
HERE is a link for the Moog Cookbook version
'My Boyfriends Back' Me first and the Gimmie Gimmies (Origianlly by The Angels)
This song was written by Feldman, Goldstein and Gottehrer.
'Misery Business' by Paramore and also by Sea of Treachery (Originally By Paramore)
The name Paramore is just the last name of the bassist in the band. Not as I first suspected a word meaning Warrior Priest. It's funny that Matts definition has some kind of weird sexual undertones... I worry about him I really do.
'Karma Police' Easy Start All Stars (Originally by Radiohead)
Who do I make a complaint to if I feel I have been a victim of Karma Police Brutality?
Some of.... 'Take me out' by Biffy Clyro (Originally by Franz Ferdinand)
then
None of... 'Easy' by Faith No More (Originally by Lional Richie)
and finally
'Common People' by William Shatner (Originally by Pulp)
I really don't know what happened there. But it happened. I hope we can all just get on with our lives.
Goodnight.
Bristol Community FM's Flagship Friday Night Music Show Fridays at 7pm on 93.2fm
Showing posts with label William Shatner. Show all posts
Showing posts with label William Shatner. Show all posts
Monday, 5 July 2010
Monday, 10 May 2010
13: Illfated Episode 13. The Technical Mistake Special (with added dubstep!)
This is possibly one of the worst ever episodes of the Erotic Toast Project. What could go wrong did.
You can listen to the horrific crime against god that was Episode 13 HERE To be fair, it's not that bad. The problems of this episode pale in insignificance next to those of mother nature right now... think about it. There is a lot wrong with the world and rather than wasting your time listening to a stupid radio show, you should probably go do something about it. Go outside, reach down a turtles throat and pull out the plastic bag that's stopping him from digesting fish... Go down to the Keynsham Bypass and dig a tunnel so that badgers can stop getting squashed there, at the very least give the dog a bath you lazy bastard. You know what, sod it. You're already here so you might as well tune in.
Without further waste of time. On with the...
TRACK LISTINGS
'Big Tings Gwidarn' by Roots Manova Ft. Seanie T
This is totally titled 'Gwidarn' which totally does sound like it might be in welsh. Matt and I reveal the scary fact to the world that the two of us went to school in Wales together. There is swearing on this track and as a result those words have been replaced by the word 'Dwarf' Taken from '200 solemn faces' that we play later on in the show. It's quite subtle, so do let me know if you happen to spot the cunning substitution. (not safe for work)
Also Midgets totally get a mention in this track... so there's a link. Midgets! (also not safe for work)
'RV' by Faith No More
The letters RV stand for Recreational Vehicle, basically this is a song about a man who lives in a camper van. Mike Patten sings on this atmospheric eulogy to the world that convenience promised us. all that we are left with is our own stunning lethargy and an indefinable sense of loss. I mention the Crash Test Dummies, which I felt deserved a plug seeing as they only had enough juice in them for the one successful album, although they are apparently still going and could probably use a friend or some spare change by now.
'That's me Trying' by William Shatner
Written by the novelist Nick Horby, one of whose characters I seem to be slowly turning into... and produced by Ben Folds who I would love to be re-born as... and sung by Shatner, who once made love to a mountain, this is a track about a man desperately trying to reconnect with his long lost daughter. Matt thinks that it's too sappy, too melancholic and nostalgic to be allowed to live. Perhaps he is right, perhaps one day he'll get a letter from his feminine side, and the two of them will meet in a cafe in Shorditch, and they'll make small talk while all the while dying inside because of all the things they've left unsaid. Who knows?
'Raise the Banner' by King Prawn
Before we got the massively fair, simple and open political system we all enjoy today, the nation of Great Britain was ruled by consortium of invertebrates known as the son's of Poseidon. Sadly in the year 1950 people finally realised how hungry they were and how much they liked seafood.
'The Giant of Illinois' Andrew Bird (originally by the Handsome Family)
The worlds largest ball of twine is a controversial topic. More controversial than I was expecting. some say it's in Kansas, Some say Missouri or Minnesota. No one in the great state of Illinois claims to have the worlds largest ball of twine. They do claim that there once was a giant there, and that he died from a blister on his toe.
Caffeine Bomb by the Wildhearts
Who would have thought that a group of young men from the fine and noble town of Newcastle Upon Tyne would grow up to sing about being massively hungover and then drinking yet more alcohol. In Newcastle the police helicopters have NUT-PD written on the side of them and Jimmy Nail is allowed to sleep with any woman he wants.
'200 Solemn Faces' by Ben Fold's Five
What you hear on the tape is the beginning and the end of the live version... with the studio version in the middle.
Basically because the live version isn't as good.
This is a great song. It catalogs most of the reasons I got into broadcasting in the first place. So to all of ya'll who graduated Fairfield in 1995 you can kiss my beans goodbye, I'm on community radio now, I've hit the big time baby, I need a drink.
'Testify' by The Red Hot Chile Peppers
From a time when the Chile's could still make a song that stank of sweat and beer.
The movie I refer to on the show is this one. I guess it stuck in my head because I was about six when it came out and it was the first time I saw and old man punch a guy in order to impress a hooker. I also like how badly the sound was done on that movie, how obvious it is that the music was put on later, how what you are watching is a room full of wannabees trying desperately to dance to the silence of their own forgotten lives.
Goodnight.
You can listen to the horrific crime against god that was Episode 13 HERE To be fair, it's not that bad. The problems of this episode pale in insignificance next to those of mother nature right now... think about it. There is a lot wrong with the world and rather than wasting your time listening to a stupid radio show, you should probably go do something about it. Go outside, reach down a turtles throat and pull out the plastic bag that's stopping him from digesting fish... Go down to the Keynsham Bypass and dig a tunnel so that badgers can stop getting squashed there, at the very least give the dog a bath you lazy bastard. You know what, sod it. You're already here so you might as well tune in.
Without further waste of time. On with the...
TRACK LISTINGS
'Big Tings Gwidarn' by Roots Manova Ft. Seanie T
This is totally titled 'Gwidarn' which totally does sound like it might be in welsh. Matt and I reveal the scary fact to the world that the two of us went to school in Wales together. There is swearing on this track and as a result those words have been replaced by the word 'Dwarf' Taken from '200 solemn faces' that we play later on in the show. It's quite subtle, so do let me know if you happen to spot the cunning substitution. (not safe for work)
Also Midgets totally get a mention in this track... so there's a link. Midgets! (also not safe for work)
'RV' by Faith No More
The letters RV stand for Recreational Vehicle, basically this is a song about a man who lives in a camper van. Mike Patten sings on this atmospheric eulogy to the world that convenience promised us. all that we are left with is our own stunning lethargy and an indefinable sense of loss. I mention the Crash Test Dummies, which I felt deserved a plug seeing as they only had enough juice in them for the one successful album, although they are apparently still going and could probably use a friend or some spare change by now.
'That's me Trying' by William Shatner
Written by the novelist Nick Horby, one of whose characters I seem to be slowly turning into... and produced by Ben Folds who I would love to be re-born as... and sung by Shatner, who once made love to a mountain, this is a track about a man desperately trying to reconnect with his long lost daughter. Matt thinks that it's too sappy, too melancholic and nostalgic to be allowed to live. Perhaps he is right, perhaps one day he'll get a letter from his feminine side, and the two of them will meet in a cafe in Shorditch, and they'll make small talk while all the while dying inside because of all the things they've left unsaid. Who knows?
'Raise the Banner' by King Prawn
Before we got the massively fair, simple and open political system we all enjoy today, the nation of Great Britain was ruled by consortium of invertebrates known as the son's of Poseidon. Sadly in the year 1950 people finally realised how hungry they were and how much they liked seafood.
'The Giant of Illinois' Andrew Bird (originally by the Handsome Family)
The worlds largest ball of twine is a controversial topic. More controversial than I was expecting. some say it's in Kansas, Some say Missouri or Minnesota. No one in the great state of Illinois claims to have the worlds largest ball of twine. They do claim that there once was a giant there, and that he died from a blister on his toe.
Caffeine Bomb by the Wildhearts
Who would have thought that a group of young men from the fine and noble town of Newcastle Upon Tyne would grow up to sing about being massively hungover and then drinking yet more alcohol. In Newcastle the police helicopters have NUT-PD written on the side of them and Jimmy Nail is allowed to sleep with any woman he wants.
'200 Solemn Faces' by Ben Fold's Five
What you hear on the tape is the beginning and the end of the live version... with the studio version in the middle.
Basically because the live version isn't as good.
This is a great song. It catalogs most of the reasons I got into broadcasting in the first place. So to all of ya'll who graduated Fairfield in 1995 you can kiss my beans goodbye, I'm on community radio now, I've hit the big time baby, I need a drink.
'Testify' by The Red Hot Chile Peppers
From a time when the Chile's could still make a song that stank of sweat and beer.
The movie I refer to on the show is this one. I guess it stuck in my head because I was about six when it came out and it was the first time I saw and old man punch a guy in order to impress a hooker. I also like how badly the sound was done on that movie, how obvious it is that the music was put on later, how what you are watching is a room full of wannabees trying desperately to dance to the silence of their own forgotten lives.
Goodnight.
Saturday, 13 February 2010
1: Pilot Episode: Naked Baby Photos
Here for your listening pleasure is the Pilot Episode
Track listings
'Sleeping In' by the Postal Service
Before that asshole OwlCity ripped off their style and sound with his mindless pile of bullcrap 'FireFlies', there was a band called the Postal Service. The main difference between the two is that The Postal Service came first, have talent and like to discuss big ideas. Their lyrics riff on the complex emotional nature of the human experience rather than just connect a bunch of words together that rhyme.
At no point do they receive hugs from bugs, or say goodbye to flies.
Click HERE for a more comprehensive slagging off of OwlCity. All of it deserved. My god it makes me angry.
'Joy, Discovery, Invention' by Biffy Clyro
Biffy Clyro (a kind of emolicious foo-fighters-esque soundtrack-to-intense-lovemaking type band) demand to be taken to your blackened skies. Who are you to argue with Biffy?
According to Matt, this is from their older stuff... which is better.
'Faliure' by Laura Marling
A truly amazing song from the truly amazing Laura Marling in which she dumps a guy for losing his poetic ethic and writing pathetic songs. Fair enough.
'Adderall' by The Holdsteady
The Holdsteady are a kind of drunken Irish American pub-party band, a kind of Soundtrack to the secret life of Jimmy McNulty of the Baltamore PD. Matt compares them to Bruce Springstein and says that their other music is more pretentious and intellectual than this one.
According to Wikipedia: 'Adderall is a brand-name psycho-stimulant medication composed of amphetamine and dextroamphetamine, which is thought to work by increasing the amount of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain.[1] Adderall is widely reported to increase alertness, libido, concentration and overall cognitive performance while decreasing user fatigue.'
'You're Gonna Die' by William Shatner, produced by Ben Folds...
Shatner confronts mortality in this haunting and thought provoking track. He may be talking to an individual, he may be talking to the human race as a whole. Listen to this song everyday, perhaps set it as your wake up alarm. You'll either get up and do everything on your to-do list, or you won't get up at all.
Sadly discussion between Matt and I drifts away from such lofty topics as life and death and drifts towards Shatner's historical quest to achieve a personal directed panspermia.
'Less Bright Eyes More Deicide' by the Wilhelm Scream
Fast Loud Music, picked by Matt. Apparently this particular song sounds more like the band, Deicide and less like the band Bright Eyes. It's a high energy, heavy guitar, man-singing masterpiece.
Here is a link to the Wilhelm Scream in action.
THE WILHELM SCREAM IN ACTION
Track listings
'Sleeping In' by the Postal Service
Before that asshole OwlCity ripped off their style and sound with his mindless pile of bullcrap 'FireFlies', there was a band called the Postal Service. The main difference between the two is that The Postal Service came first, have talent and like to discuss big ideas. Their lyrics riff on the complex emotional nature of the human experience rather than just connect a bunch of words together that rhyme.
At no point do they receive hugs from bugs, or say goodbye to flies.
Click HERE for a more comprehensive slagging off of OwlCity. All of it deserved. My god it makes me angry.
'Joy, Discovery, Invention' by Biffy Clyro
Biffy Clyro (a kind of emolicious foo-fighters-esque soundtrack-to-intense-lovemaking type band) demand to be taken to your blackened skies. Who are you to argue with Biffy?
According to Matt, this is from their older stuff... which is better.
'Faliure' by Laura Marling
A truly amazing song from the truly amazing Laura Marling in which she dumps a guy for losing his poetic ethic and writing pathetic songs. Fair enough.
'Adderall' by The Holdsteady
The Holdsteady are a kind of drunken Irish American pub-party band, a kind of Soundtrack to the secret life of Jimmy McNulty of the Baltamore PD. Matt compares them to Bruce Springstein and says that their other music is more pretentious and intellectual than this one.
According to Wikipedia: 'Adderall is a brand-name psycho-stimulant medication composed of amphetamine and dextroamphetamine, which is thought to work by increasing the amount of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain.[1] Adderall is widely reported to increase alertness, libido, concentration and overall cognitive performance while decreasing user fatigue.'
'You're Gonna Die' by William Shatner, produced by Ben Folds...
Shatner confronts mortality in this haunting and thought provoking track. He may be talking to an individual, he may be talking to the human race as a whole. Listen to this song everyday, perhaps set it as your wake up alarm. You'll either get up and do everything on your to-do list, or you won't get up at all.
Sadly discussion between Matt and I drifts away from such lofty topics as life and death and drifts towards Shatner's historical quest to achieve a personal directed panspermia.
'Less Bright Eyes More Deicide' by the Wilhelm Scream
Fast Loud Music, picked by Matt. Apparently this particular song sounds more like the band, Deicide and less like the band Bright Eyes. It's a high energy, heavy guitar, man-singing masterpiece.
Here is a link to the Wilhelm Scream in action.
THE WILHELM SCREAM IN ACTION
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